♥ dad's-knot ♥

What should I do???

2011-12-31T23:20:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Sometimes not knowing what to do with the situation that we're in can be one of the hardest part... -Sigh-

Oh Allah, show me your way..... :3

And this planning thing is going fine at the moment. Hopefully it will stay this way :)

echosoundfromthediaphragm: its the last post of the year!! Say sayonara tu the 2011 boat, and Bonjour 2012!!!!! #goingoffnow

To-do-list

2011-12-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

1. Bayar HUTANG

2. Tampal lubang atas jalan yang pernah dijejaki

3. Tinggikan dinding semangat

4. Bersedia untuk baik pulih apa sahaja yang diperlukan untuk masa hadapan.

5. Teruskan melangkah

6. Melangkah lagi (mungkin kadang2 perlu berlari....)

7. Tidak akan berhenti selagi tidak ada yang menghalang :)

Semoga Allah SWT permudahkan. Ameen ya rabbal Alamin.....

loner

2011-12-14T01:03:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

She has him

He has her

She has her *tooooott*

Who do i have? I have Allah =)

I must bear in mind, that no matter how hurtful life is, it is just momentarily.

It just shows that He loves me more, making me realize that the world is just temporary. Everything is just something that i borrow from Him. Thank you for still loving me Ya Allah...

P/S: See! there's nothing wrong with being single ^^ At least at the moment, until i find 'him' that is destined for me (in every halal way). Ameen

Books with incredible bargain!!!

2011-12-13T00:05:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Well, since its been sooo long since I write again, I decided to drop by again todaaay!

BookXcess bookstore rocks! there are just tonnes of books (English books) to be bought! LOL. That only comes from me, the person who likes to sit around in a corner of a bookshop just to feel the words from the books crawl around my skin and puts my head in a beautiful dizziness. There can be no words that can describe my feeling when I'm in a bookstore. Just loooove the sight of books neatly arranged on those tall shelves. Hah! (sighing in happiness)

Okay, gettting back to the story. Went to the bookstore after two weeks of postponing the trip. Thank you kak temah for recommending it!!!!! It was sooo worth the journey. Not that its THAT far from home. Lol. I bought 5 books with RM89.50. Isn't it just great??!!!! I can never get that much of a bargain in the MPH nor the Popular bookstores. Sighing again........

I found some more of Jeffery Archer's books. YEAY!!! but I didn't get Paths of Glory though. I think its a waste that I didn't grab it too =l Sophie Kinsella's again, like always ^^ and oh, I bought my first Nicholas Sparks's book. How sentimental is that? Lol. Gotta learn L's....Gotta learn...

And now, I have to figure out how can I stuff the new books on my already full bookshelf at home =,= Oh wells! Can always arrange that ^O^

Oh oh readers, really. If you're a bookmaniac like me, I also recommend you to go there ^^

Its location is in the Amcorp mall, Petaling Jaya. You can also get there by taking Putra LRT, getting off at Taman Jaya station. There, you'll see a big A&W restaurant. and the mall is exactly on the opposite side of the road. Beware though, if you're driving don't park in the parking area in front of the mall. It will cost you a FORTUNE! (had to spend RM10.00 for 3 hours or more of parking today. grrrrrrr) So, in my opinion, just opt for the public transport. You get to exercise too ^^

thats all for now folks!

Assalamualaikum

2011-12-11T18:36:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Hari 'itu' datang lagi....Alhamdulillah, tak sesakit dulu. tapi still lagi consider sakit kan.

Pandangan orang lagi yang jadi satu kekusutan. Dah lepas 3 jam 'tetamu-tetamu itu' pulang pun masih lagi soalan2 nih menyesakkan aku.

Salah ke kalau mereka bersama? (AMARAN: ini tentang orang yang ada relationship yang HALAL di sisi-Nya)

Salah ke kalau mereka selalu meet up and hang around?

Salah ke kalau mereka tak bawa kami bersama? (well, this one depends on OUR willingness of course)

Salah ke kalau kakak aku bakal cikgu while aku insyaAllah bakal doktor?

Salah ke kalau result gempak tapi jadi cikgu?!!!!

Salah ke kalau parents kita paksa kita kalau diorang tahu yang kita tak mampu nak buat keputusan sendiri masa tu?

Salah ke kalau ibu ayah kita nak tolong kita cari life kita nanti?

Salah ke? salah ke? salah ke?

Jujur aku cakap, dah lama aku tak tumpah habis semua yang aku rasa dalam hati. Ini pun bukan semua. Surely, u dont expect me to spill everything on this virtual paper right? Cuma kali ni aku rasa macam nak tulis jugak setelah sekian lama blog ni bersawang takde orang tulis dan takde orang kunjung. (bagus lah. takyah sesakkan fikiran lagi nak fikir apa blog readers punya persepsi terhadap penulis)

Why? Why? Why? I know this is like the 12th time I repeated this question but its just not good enough to make me feel better. Thank Allah I have Him and my patience. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Nak buat macam mana kan? Persepsi, kata2 dan simpati orang memang tak dapat kita kawal. Lets just hope for the best understandings we can get in the future from our narrow-minded society....

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, bantulah kami. Berikan kami kekuatan dalam mengharungi segala cabaranMu. Jangan kau bebankan kami dengan beban yang tak mampu kami tanggung. Ameen

L's

errrrr....2 months?

2011-12-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

okay...i dont see the point what people would want to subscribe to this blog anymore.

my last post was what? 2 months ago! Writing is just..........sigh

It's the holidays now. Killed 3 weeks with doing nothing already. And I need to start looking back to the books again. Doesn't mean that I need to quit all the playing around, window shopping, streaming videos. Just need to add a little balance to it right? I don't know how to write flowery stuffs on this canvas which is soooooo unlike other bloggers out there. I just know how to spill.

So bear with me. Even if you know how talkative I am in real life. Done for now, the super-duper-short post after two months. Adios

L's

improvements

2011-10-04T00:52:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

L's is happy with the changes that has been done. Alhamdulillah, so far so good. And praying hard that it will stay. pls pls pls.... =D

However, there's still some things that does not meet up to my expectation. I could have done better with my studies =( Thought that i could at least improve compared to last time but I just cant see the light yet. Sigh.

Never mind. Stay positive and then you'll excel with His blessings and permission =D

*staying away from idiotic things

L's

Perubahan

2011-09-25T21:57:00.002+08:00

Istiqamah itu susah, tapi tak salah kalau nak cuba dan usaha kan?

Perubahan itu susah, tapi juga tak salah untuk cuba dan usaha.

"Jangan malu untuk cuba berubah kepada sesuatu yang baik. Sikit lama-lama jadi bukit, insyaAllah."

Jadi, moga perubahan yang aku cuba lakukan ni stays. Ameen.

Aku mohon petunjukMu wahai Tuhanku

thanks

2011-09-21T01:55:00.002+08:00

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and most Merciful.

It should have been the end but I didn't stick to it.

I should have stopped, but I didn't.

I shouldn't have hoped for anything, but I did.

The thing is, I don't even know what is it that I hope for..

Let's just stop and stay still, praying for the best for them. Ameen.

Back to your priorities L's! :-)

p/s: a dozen of tasks to do, so little time. When will I ever transform into an efficient person? Or can someone invent the time machine already?! =,=

PRIORITY and INCOMPETENCE

2011-09-19T14:48:00.003+08:00

I don't know why, but I feel incompetent.

I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have done anything.

Tapi, dia yang mula dulu kan?

Must list down all the priorities now:

1. Study and strive for 15 points for A Level

2. Anak solehah, kakak yang baik and adik yang comel =P

3. HACCer sejati

4. JPKCA sejati

See!!! no spaces available for such nonsense. Sekian, terima kasih =)

Weekend

2011-08-07T15:39:00.002+08:00

At last! I'm at home =D but it won't be for long. I have to go back tonight... =(

I mean, I love it in Intec. It's great there! Of course, homesickenia is a common thing for students like me isn't it?

Saying bye-bye to my bed, my pillow, my room.

Annyeong~

L's

This blog's name

2011-08-02T18:17:00.004+08:00

despite this blog's name, is it still true? I wonder if it should be changed.

People changes, environment changes and heart changes.

And when it changes, it might never be the same. Not ever

the cut

2011-08-01T20:14:00.002+08:00

i got the cut again. don't know when will it ever stop. i just hope i will still find strengths to go through this. It's just another test of life that's priceless right?

i really hope so.......

point of the story, never expect too much from him. and thanks to him, i just realised that after 18 years of living

Hidup

2011-07-28T00:15:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Life must go on despite the sadness that overwhelm us anytime. The feeling is great, but then its true that we can't just simply waste too much time over it. Live your life to the fullest, insyaAllah.

Life is busy nowadays and I'm not complaining. I just hope that the busy-ness wont drift me away from Him. ameen.

Lagi satu, aku kena mula jaga perasaan dan mata. Dah pandai merapu-rapu T.T

Last but not least, moga kesibukan tu takkan overshadow pelajaran yg sudah sedia termaktub utk sem pertama, dikatakan sebagai student IMU fast track A level. Tengok lah nasib macam mana. Yang mana2 pun tak kisah, asalkan selamat dunia akhirat. hehehe. ameen

itu je, bubaiii

L's

New place, new beginning

2011-07-09T23:17:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

I'm here!!! Finally here. Alhamdulillah, all praises to him for giving me this oppoturnity. But then, there is one problem. Inferiority complex just never failed to bug me all the time. I wonder where did the optimist L's has gone to =,=

I've decided that I want to apply for Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Kolej Cemara dan Akasia. LOL. I thought it would be too much since I am not that well known for my leadership since I have always been a newcomer everywhere I go. Hopefully, this time I'll stick to it and live up to it!

Have been inspired by all the seniors that didn't fail to guide us the juniors during the Minggu Destini Siswa week. Thank you sooo much for that. So now, I think it's up to the future leaders to make what our vision to come true. Plus, I don't want the students feel as if there will be no one to take care or even wanting to know how they have been while being here in INTEC.

I just hope that Allah will keep on opening doors for me to pass through, ameen.

So, it's a new place, new beginning with lots of new friends and things to expect from! Go go L's!!!

P/s: wasn't in much of a mood to update my blog all June, so I only walked around other people's blogs. LOL. what a selfish act of mine. btw, INTEC, please be nice to me. heeeee~

L's

Kenapa aku mahu jadi doktor??

2011-05-30T02:22:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Tiba-tiba teringat soalan yang selalu sangat orang tanya bila aku cakap aku nak jadi doctor. Kadang-kadang rasa benci jugak sebab soalan yang sama je orang dok tanya. Sampai aku terfikir hari tu, tak ada soalan lain dah ke? Hohoho

Sebenarnya benda ni subjektif. Lain orang, lain la gaya tanya dan lain lah apa yang diorang nak bila bertanya. Memang betul la pepatah yang aku selalu baca dalam penulisan Hlovate tu. Curiousity kills the cat. Yep. Very much so.

Sebelum-sebelum ni, aku taram cakap realization tu datang masa aku first time jejak kaki kat Institut Jantung Negara (IJN). Memang superb la environment masa tu. Yes, yes. Aku tau. Some people might think that I’m crazy to think that the depressed environment in a hospital could be so intriguing to me. Dah tu, nak buat macam mana tak ye? Feel aku terlebih masa tu. Ok, ok. Sambung cerita. Masa tu Pak Ngah aku admitted dekat IJN, undergoing coronary artery bypass surgery. Bagi yang tak tahu apa benda bypass surgery tu, ianya merupakan satu operasi yang berkaitan dengan artery dekat jantung kita. Nak explain lebih-lebih pun tak reti sangat sebenarnya. Jadi, tanya lah cik Google atau Yahoo Search.

However, sampai la saat aku pergi Hospital Serdang hari tu. I guess the answer that I have been using for the past few years (I mean since EVER!) can never be applied after I enter the real field. Ini semua sebab Encik L (dah la initial dia sama dengan aku!!) yang aku kenal kat sana. Haiisy… Geram pun ada jugak sebab dia Berjaya hapuskan satu cara yang paling baik untuk aku lari daripada soalan cepumas tu (~~grrr~~). Tapi, apakan daya. Aku sudah pun tertangkap. Maka aku pun ditegur oleh Encik L merangkap senior satu tahun lebih tua daripada aku yang jawapan macam tu dah tak relevan kalau ditanya any interviewers dah. Berkecai hati aku kat situ jugak.

Okay. Okay. Kali ni aku nak cuba jawab betul-betul. Sebab memang betul la ‘abang bijak’ tu cakap. Kalau aku asyik guna alasan yang sama je, mana pergi kesungguhan aku yang patutnya ada kalau aku betul-betul nak jadi doktor kan? Jadi aku pun pergi la membawa diri ke alam pemikiran yang super-rumit bagi aku after all those 6 months of holiday otak tak buat apa-apa.

Kelmarin atau one of the days last week, aku pun terjumpa notebook kesayangan aku yang penuh dengan catatan sepanjang tahun lepas. Itu pun ada beberapa mukasurat lagi yang tinggal sebab tak sempat nak habiskan. Tak apa. Nanti aku habiskan la. Maka ternampaklah satu quote yang aku pernah catit dalam tu. It was a beautiful quote. Almost what I had in me when I think about Medicine. So, boleh tak aku nak cilok sikit? Hahaha

“Medicine is not just a science that can be taught, but also an art that has to be learnt”
- Prof John Paul Judson from International Medical University

Hohoho. Bangga sekejap bila tengok catatan lama aku dalam notebook tu. Mana la tahu..Sekali Prof ni jugak la yang bakal jadi lecturer aku dekat IMU nanti. kui3...Amin.

Sedikit sebanyak memang betul apa yang Prof ni cakap. Aku tahu medicine ni sains. Tapi dia juga satu art. Aku bukannya pandai olah art ke, tafsir art ke, cipta art ke and apa-apa je la yang sewaktu dengannya. Tapi yang pasti, hati aku boleh je nak fikir ikut suka hati aku pasal satu-satu art tu.

So, Encik L daripada negeri Pahang, ini jawapan aku.

“Aku nak jadi doktor sebab perubatan/medicine ni satu seni yang aku nak cuba kuasai. Satu seni yang aku nak cuba fahami. Satu seni yang aku nak explore lagi lanjut. Satu seni yang aku nak gunakan sebagai sesuatu yang boleh cabar diri aku sendiri. Memang aku selfish bila aku cakap ‘guna’ tapi ini matlamat aku. Dan bila aku dah kuasai most of them, aku nak terus cabar diri aku dengan jadi seorang doktor yang bagus. And I mean with an outstanding ‘quality’. Lepas tu, aku akan make use of it dengan menjadi orang yang berguna macam apa yang parents aku wanted me to be and berkhidmat untuk masyarakat. InsyaAllah, dengan izin Dia.”

And pasal other Qs yang bertanyakan reason aku nak fly ke UK/Ireland in the first place atau apa specialist yang aku nak terokai lepas jadi Med Officer, aku jawab lain kali. Satu demi satu :)

May all the planning, praying, hard-working and hoping that we have done all this time will be paid with the best outcome. The outcome that only He knows what’s best for us. Amin.

L’s

Too-morrow

2011-05-22T23:45:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Esok ada Program Pendedahan Kerjaya Seorang Doktor kat Hospital Serdang. Well, yes is the answer. Akhirnya segala doa dan usaha saya terbalas dengan scholarship by JPA!! Walaupun bukanlah sesuatu yang saya pernah sangka, it is still not bad. Ada jugak peluang untuk merasa dua tempat. Haha~

Programme : A-level Medicine
Duration : 2 years
Institute : International Education Centre (INTEC), Shah Alam
Programme : Bachelor in Medicine and Bachelor in Surgery (MBBS)
Duration : 5 years
Institute : Twinning Programme for International Medical University (partner university might be Aberdeen or Nottingham)

International Medical University, Bukit Jalil

University of Nottingham, United Kingdom

University of Aberdeen, Scotland

My feeling? Excited la!! Tapi.....Nervous and frightening at the same time. Sebabnya, tak tahu boleh ke tak nih. InsyaAllah boleh, berdasarkan keupayaan saya sebelum2 ni. Tapi, this is going to be the start and I dont know when will it end. Takde pape kot. Haha. But anyways, sangat2 bersyukur sebab apa yang dicita-citakan sejak kecik sampai la besar gedabak ni akhirnya mendapat sinar cahaya. Heheh. Sekarang tinggal nak jengket and gapai je benda tu. Kui3

Pasal esok? Lagi la!!! Takpe2. Itu pun takde pape kot. Ayah cakap jangan sampai saya pengsan sebab tengok darah or injured person jee. haha. It's okay dad, Im not like kakak. Hohoho~

Registry date is going to be in another month! 3rd of July. By then, I won't be too far from home or even too far from PupPa~ hihihi. She's in UiTM Puncak Alam. So, I won't be missing her so muchie. Lalalala~

Maka, saya harus

Sit back, Relax and Enjoy the ride

Good night everyone! Assalamualaikum

L's

WHEN WE LOVE SOMEONE, WE.......

2011-05-17T23:28:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

Hari ni kat tempat kerja, tiba2 je idea untuk tulis post ni datang. Terfikir kan situation that I have been living in for the past few weeks kot...

When we love someone, we trust them

When we love someone, we accept everything about them

When we love someone, we forgive them

When we love someone, we cherish them

When we love someone, we don't lie to them

When we love someone, we think of them

When we love someone, we work hard towards making everything alright in the middle

And when we love someone, we pray for the best of them

Kalau anything put you guys in a difficult situation between you and your loved one, betul tak apa yang saya tulis ni? Yang paling penting sekali, kita memang akan mendoakan solution yang paling paling palingggg terbaik untuk kita dan our loved ones kan? kan? kan?

Itu je kot untuk buat masa ni. Taktau la kalau2 saya datang lagi midnight nanti. Haha. Sekian

P/s: I miss that budak kecik bermata bulat lagi hitam pekat!! huhuhu T.T

L's

Reunion

2011-05-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Today was great! Okayy....it's not exactly 'today' since its passed midnight already. But anyways, the reunion was really really really great! WE had a good time playing games and talking. Most of the time were filled with talking, laughing, teasing and going crazy~~

Honestly, time DO fly so fast. Without me or even them realising it, it has already been like 5-6years since we last saw each other. Except for those who came to see me after coming back from NZ though. It was nice actually to get together. And of course, one of the inevitable things that will come out when I meet them will actually be the scandals and saucy gossiping!! LOL

First, with the gossips. It was all full of laughter. No feeling ashamed, shy nor getting mad over such teases. It made me realize that sometimes, things should be kept the same way as we had left it 5 years ago. LOL. What a line, but yeah. I DO think so...

Secondly, the real truth behind all the gossiping! LOL. Astonished was definitely in my dictionary today. Couldn't really help it. It was utterly flabbergasting. Hihihi. Would really love it if I could use those dramatic and fancy words that I used to use...Haha <--this is totally out of the topic

But anyways, I enjoyed it. Everyone is talking about leaving for uni, matriculations and foundations -sigh- I'll be enrolling too. But not in another month. Luckily, my bestfriend is enrolling a little bit later than the others! I can at least see her again before uni starts. weee~~

lalalalalala

L's

Differences between a HOUSE and a HOME

2011-05-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

HOUSE : A building for human habitation, esp. one that is lived in by a family or small group of people.

HOME : (of an animal/human) Return by instinct to its territory after leaving it

Same meaning but different feeling. Does HOME makes you feel lonely and empty? Or should it be occupied? When I was smaller (Little), yes, the place is called HOME..

A HOUSE can be empty or lonely. You don't feel attached to a HOUSE but you feel attached to a HOME..

I miss having a place called HOME. Sometimes, this moment makes me feel like this. Being an ingrate. I know I shouldn't be. But what can I do.

It's like a box, a furnished three bedrooms house but it feels empty. I understand the circumstances if there are inevitable things to be done outside. It still hurts though. If the situations are the same, then why can't mine win this time? Nope, I can never win. Full stop.

I miss the old life. The happy family. The spending quality time together every weekend. Having dinner together every night. Watching TVs together. However, I know that things will never go back to its place. Ever again. Things have changed. Things always change. No matter what, time always stood up for the Little one. Of course, I don't blame the Little One. I'm not. I just miss old times.

No tears, no remorse, no pain, no heart-wrenching. Nak lepaskan, tak sampai hati. Tapi nak simpan, sakit. So, thank you blog for being here when I need you.

To those that are reading this post, I know. Ayat bersimpang-siyur. Maksud memang tak sampai-sampai dari mula post hingga T.H.E E.N.D tu. tapi, tak pe lah. Biar saya je yang tau what I'm writing about.

THE END

DILEMMA....

2011-04-13T21:00:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Interviu JPA semalam. Interviu KPLSPM 18hb. Registry date Masterskill 23rd. YT kena tunggu lepas result JPA. Result interviu JPA, tatauu....Adoiii

Baru je dapat satu tawaran je kott (tak termasuk ACMS yg tengah KIV. hahaha. kesian dia aku tepikan)...tapi dah dilemma tertonggeng-tonggeng. teruk betul minah ni.

The point is.....yang mana satu, pilihan aku? Kalau ikut ayah, dia dah cakap

"Kalau kamu dah set your mind on medic, tak perlu lagi la psl cikgu2 tu. Tak kisah la kalau tarikh daftar dia berhimpit dengan Masterskill College tu ponn."

Okaii. dah dapat jawapan sebelah sini. Ibu pulak,

"hmmm....betul jugak apa yang ayah kata. Kalau kamu tak dpat yg kerajaan pun mmg kamu nak smbg trus2 ke medik kan? Jadi biarlah jadi cenggitu."

Maka Cik Payung pula berpendapat yang sama,

"Yep. Setuju3. Mungkin kamu lepaskan yang ni sebab this is not your passion pun kan? Serahkan peluang tu untuk org lain la pulak..."

Haiyapp!!! siapa kata aku tak suka mengajar?? Setahun dok 'melukis' gambar nephrons and neurons kat papan putih berkilat kat dlm kelas tu hapekebenda la...Adoii lagi sekali. Tapi mmg betul la apa yang mereka bertiga cakapkan. Main GOAL aku mmg nak ambik medik pun. So, harap2 nye tercapai la impian aku ni dengan mudah selepas ni...

Bukan sikit yang aku harungi (ececece. jiwang punya ayat. main2 ajaa. dugaan Allah akan sentiasa datang buat kita selagi Dia menyayangi kita)

Okaii. Stop di situ sahaja untuk mengungkit. Tapi correct lah bila aku cakap aku ada harungi beberapa ujian dan dugaan untuk sampai ke sini. Membuat keputusan itu sesuatu yang susah dan sungguh aku tak suka sebenarnya (keputusan yang besar2 je. yang ciput2 aku tak kisah..langgar saja). Tapi keputusan itu sangat penting dan juga sesuatu yang sangat selalu kita semua buat dalam hidup sehari demi sehari. Jadi, tak boleh nak elak jugakk.

Bila dah sampai masa2 macam ni lah aku rasa lain. Aku rasa aku dah dewasa sikit banding dengan dulu. Tak ada dah nak menangis meleleh air liur ke...srottt srettt srott srett hidung ke... kecuali kalau tidur terrkeluar ataupun masa selsema tahap burung. Hahahaha.

Jadi, biarlah petunjuk tu aku mintak daripada Allah. Sesungguhnya dia tahu mana yang baik dan mana yang buruk. Meskipun aku tak suka pada mula2nya, mungkin lebih cerah masa depan aku dgn permulaan yang tak menyenangkan tu (macam masa mula2 nak msk Sekolah ituuuu dan ituuu. LOL)

Dengan itu, sekian~

L's

p/s: kali ni rasa nak tulis post guna bm. tetiba je teringin. Haha. mood dtg sekali sekala tp tak selalu mcm angin. babai =D

Hectic and pening2 lalat

2011-04-13T11:09:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and Greetings 1Malaysia~

Hahaha. what a formal greetings but it was exactly what I used yesterday, during the JPA interview.

Well, life has been pretty hectic for the past few weeks. Had to run around everywhere to get jobs done and fulfilled. Money had been coming out macam air.....=.= and stacks of jobs need to be done. And this is not me, enrolling into any colleges yet. Well, all the jobs that I had been saying was all the procedures needed to be done for my application and interviews for scholarships etc etc.

And everything comes back to the starting point. I applied for the KPLSPM and got accepted for the interview for being a Physics teacher. The thing is, should I go for it anyway? another problem is that I have to start enrolling into Masterskill University to start my sem on the Foundation in Health Science 5 days after the interiew for KPLSPM. It's a private med school but Daddy told me to go anyway. If my luck is good with JPA, I might have to ditch it and go along with JPA as my sponsor. Ok, back to the problem, I want to pursue medicine so should I go or not to the KPLSPM interview? dilemma!!!!!!!

Yayasan Terengganu hasn't responded with anything yet. Except that they called me and ask if I want the Russian or Middle East's med program. LOL. what a call~

I really need someone's opinion for this. (Except for my dad cos he usually scold me for having dilemma on such things...pity me =l)

sekian

L's

Trying Hard

2011-03-24T01:16:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum..................

Today, the results came out. Alhamdulillah, thank Allah for the outcome. It was what I had expected it to be. Now, I have to start going forward, achieve my dreams. And may He bless me on this road at all times too.

On the other hand, I want to and I have to start getting used to 'dia'. Finally learned to call and send text messages. Just hoping that one day, I can let 'dia' be one of the important people towards me.

And him, I'm still feeling down and sad. I don't know what to think anymore. In text messages, he sounded the same. I was having the feeling that he is still around like he used to. Nothing changed. But, when a call comes, everything just crashed and burned. Flash of episodes keep coming back the moment I talk to him on the phone. NOTHING. Only time can heal me.. But I'm trying hard, really really really hard for only He knows.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan, berikan ku kekuatan dan petunjukMu...Permudahkanlah segalanya

L's

Trust

2011-03-22T22:45:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum...........

It has always been my whole life. My whole life had been trusted on him. But one moment. one mistake. one big step. Changed everything.

The trust is now gone. It feels like I don't know him anymore. We had been living a lie. one thing made everything look like a lie

L's

it's bad dream

2011-03-22T11:35:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum........

It has only been a few hours from the truth. My chest is still having this numb feeling. It still feels like a very very very bad dream. But it's reality. And yes, reality hurts. reality bites.

I've got the number. Now, it seems like time is the only thing that I can hold on to just so that I won't fall deeper into this massive hole. I'm an adult now huh?

I've decided to call that person. I just need more time. But I will.......

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku......Berikan kekuatan kepada hambaMu ini

L's

saya hilang rasa

2011-03-21T20:22:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum......

spt title, saya hilang rasa. kepercayaan? kesedihan? kegembiraan? kerisauan? ke-excited-an? semua. HILANG.

saya dalam mode neutral. bingung. NULL

tapi yang saya pasti, 'dia' tak akan saya abaikan. sebab 'dia' adalah salah seorang daripada 'mereka' yang sangat-sangat penting bagi saya.

the rest, I pray for the best solution of this. It is not a problem. It is 'fate' or a 'test' that has got to be faced by me, and people yang sewaktu dengannya. Ya Allah Ya Tuhan.....berikan kekuatan.
Ameen

Nothing strikes without His permission, and whoever believes in Allah, He will guide his heart. For Allah is Knower of all things.
(At-Taghabun 64:11)

Nightmare

2011-03-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

dia datang lagi last night. Dammit!!

It was soo real. I have to admit that sometimes my delusions are just too much to digest by my brain nor my heart. Just hoping that these will all go away.

Pergilah nightmares!!!!!!!!!

L's

a Dreadful end of waiting.....

2011-03-20T01:29:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum....

It's another post at 1.30am~

After spending one whole night checking out latest updates on the sponsors at their websites (JPA, MARA, Yayasan Terengganu, Yayasan Telekom etc), I'm still not sure which are the ones that I am really going for. As the matter a fact, I even called Daddy (well, not exactly since I was the one who asked him to call me =P ) to gain a few bolstering words just to let my worries at rest.

And guess what? I am still not! It is really dreadful (metaphorically speaking) to wait for the results to come out. There will always be 'WHAT IF's popping out in my head. I have no where to turn to. Cik Payung? I bet she will be telling me the same words.

"Relax la. Ramai lagi yang mungkin lebih doomed compared to you. So, tawakkal and give in cause He knows better."

Honestly, it's not like I didn't know THAT from the beginning. But its just...........I don't know. It feels like I am stuck here without knowing the direction I am going to. Well, I guess let's face it. Life IS like that. You go with the flow with HOPE that He will always be beside you, guiding you to the correct pathway He wants to.

Uh huh. These are exactly what I am trying to do. Calming myself down by writing these mushy words that I don't even know where it came from. Deep down inside me I guess?

Monologue:
- Relax. You've done your best so let Him do the rest for you. He knows best.

a verse from the Quran says something like, He knows sometimes the things that we want are not always good for us but the things that we don't want are actually the real ones which are benefiting and are better for us.

Sorry, can't remember. That's all for now~

L's

Ladies Afternoon Out

2011-03-14T18:45:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Today, me, Cik Payung n Mommy went to The Mines for a movie. It was actually on my request cause I thought there was nothing else we could do to kill time. Of course I'd think so. Since mommy had a leave today, so why not just pampering her with a little bit of chilling time with the cinema surrounding.

And.......we watched Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa.

It was an epic!!!!! Mommy also told me that Daddy had been searching for the hikayat in a text condition (storybook) all around but it is yet to be found. Well, I think the book would be as great as Hikayat Inderaputra and Hikayat Panji Semerang. Haha. I've read those two books like.......4-6years ago and believe me, the mindset of a 12 years old girl would still approve of it. It was great and hopefully, there will be more epic movies such as this being adapted from the two books. I can assure you that I will still be watching it when it comes out. If and only IF I am still breathing the air in this world.

The movie is produced by a Yusry KRU. It was Cik Payung who told me that and it didn't surprise me to hear that it was KRU who produced the film. It was obvious cause the graphic techniques used in it is totally modern and there is no other updated graphic designs other than KRU's products.....so hurray for Malay people!!! ~~besides, the hero of this film clearly has a HOT body.~~

Okay, enough with me trying to say that the movie is awesome cause believe me, it is awesome =D

Bubye for now~

P/s: my JPJ test is tomorrow at 1.00pm afterwards. May prayers will be with me.

L's

BLA BLA BLA and BLA

2011-03-12T01:02:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum

I have absolutely no idea why is it that I always end up writing a post around 1am in the morning. What a weir;d habit. And this has got to stop cause the dark circles are getting more and more noticable!!!! :<> plus, my skin has not been flawless anyway. It is FULL of flaws. So, this habit will surely make my skin worse T.T

OK. OK. Back to the real topic...

I don't know what should I do! Sit around and wait or what? My sister has been talking about me, should search all over for the scholarships available out there no matter what courses are offered by them. But the real situation is that I want to pursue Medicine T^T Even though my own ambition is to pursue Medicine studies, I'm not even confident that my SPM results will be as good as it should be for a student to go to med school. Well, as we aallll knowww, med students usually comes from various outstanding schools and and pursued by students who are well known for their O.U.T.S.T.A.N.D.I.N.G results at school. My situation is very different. I dont have records of studying in Malaysia for form 4 and 5. I only took a one year course and voila! SPM exams on the go. Maybe some people would say that it might be a little bit too risky but I went for it anyway. And the results are...............I dont know. Gotta wait for 23rd March 2011 to come!

OK. Back to the scholarships thingy. Just by browsing over the pages of the main sites for the sponsors gave me goosebumps all over. Brrrrrrrrr. I have got to say that it all comes from the inner side of me which is sooooo low in self esteem. <===(this is totally not my usual self. I am a child with NO shame. HAHA)

SO, the real thing that is a 'BLA' like the title is that I have to wait for my results to come out before I can REALLY fill in those form. LOL. what the heck.

Bubye my beautiful and peaceful bloggie~~

L's

New Design!!

2011-03-11T01:25:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone.

Lalalala~~~~~ New environment. Hehehehe. This feels good. Something that I produce on my own, WITH the help of blogger... (thank you blogger my dearie >.<)

Well, it's actually nothing compared to other blogs that are soooo much better looking. But wth, I dont even care if anyone reads this blog or not. As long as I am happy, writing, chattering, rambling, ranting and bla bla bla to and with myself. So what if I have no followers nor readers This reminds me of the followers that ARE following me. Hellooooo!! Are you there? Cause if you are, I think my blog is not worthy of being followed. So, fill your time with better stuffs to do with.

BUT,

If you still are reading this post, and decided that you're still going to read my posts, erm2............thank you?

heheheehhe ^__________^

Well, another thought came to mind while designing this new ~~BEG~~ bg of mine. I want to see tulips!!! And ooooh2!!!! TULIPS reminds me of something else. But I'll post it later cause its past midnight and Miss L's needs to go to bed.

Nighty night my sweet dearest blog......~

L's

Laughing Out LOUD

2011-03-10T22:51:00.003+08:00

Hahahahahahaha

Assalamualaikum

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I don't know why but I just feel like laughing nonstop. Especially after reading this post, this and ~~this~~. ops! DO NOT include the last one. heheheeeee

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

miss L's is definitely getting more and more crazy. in other words, out of this world~~~~~~

p/s: macam mana ni? apekah yang harus ku buat? tidaaaaaakk!!!!!!!

Teringat...

2011-02-27T18:00:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

First of all, Alhamdulillah........!!!! Thank Allah for making things better.

Second of all, regarding the title of this post. LOL. Suddenly my aunt's words came to mind.

'Where you are studying at does not matter to be successful. What matters is your effort.'

Haha. I used to be soooo upset over the fact that I could not enrol myself in my sister's former school. It was a school which is well known for the outstanding academic achievements by the students. and THAT includes my sister. I wanted to go her pathway too but then fate decides that I should make my own path. Well, I am clearly waiting for the outcome of my own effort.

It IS true that there were a lot of good things that came to me when I went to the other school. LOL. it was MY school and I am very very very proud of saying that I used to go to Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Tengku Mahmud 2. hehe....

From there, I got to know the meaning of teamwork, working hard towards one goal, friendship, dedication, commitments and independence. There are actually so many other things that had taught me to become a better person but indeed, I am still a human being after all. Of course I am not still perfect but will try to make myself a better homo sapien. But anyways, I miss them... Either the good times or the bad times... I miss you

Bagaikan Melukut di Tepi Gantang

2011-02-24T22:47:00.002+08:00

I hope it will be better..

Ya Allah, kuatkan kami. Janganlah Kau hadapkan kami dengan dugaan yang tak boleh kami pikul. Jauhkan lah perkara-perkara yang tak diingini. Siramkan lah kami dengan cucur belas kasihan dan ihsanMu. Berikan lah jalan yang terbaik. Sesungguhnya Kau sahaja Yang Maha Mengetahui.

Amin.

Looking

2011-02-22T01:16:00.003+08:00

I know it's late but I thought I have to say something. Cause it's all crumpled inside me. So many things made me realise that I may have missed something very important in my life.

The title says 'Looking' in generally. So, I think I should say something about me, Looking Back into the Past. Honestly, I've been following S's blog all this while but I'm not sure if can still contact her through email. I wasn't even sure if my last email to her went through or not, so I definitely am not sure if I can still reach her after this, or in this immediate future. She seems rather good by watching her like this, virtually through her blog. Auckland city? Auckland uni? A new apartment? What course? Is she not staying with her grandma instead? I have TONS of question to ask. I really don't know how can I reach her. Truthfully, I miss her so badly. I miss her scolds and advices. I even miss her nags cause I now see and understand that they were all because she loved me and wanted me to be a better person despite how horrible my personality was, or is. And J is going to Otago? I am even wondering if she is still firm with her dreams of becoming just like her respectful parents. I miss us spending time together too. Albeit the moments where I went 'bonggggg!!!' when I hung out with them, all because they were using mandarin as their main language to converse. Hahaha. In fact, if I were still with them, I think I'd be quite fluent with mandarin~ LOL

Nevertheless, I am praying silently that they would realise their dreams and become successful in their undertakings. I love you S, J!!! as for E and M, I still need to figure out how am I going to be back on track with their current lives as leavers of HGHS.

Next, Looking into the Future~ I am 100% sure that the SPM results are coming out just around the corner. And I am not even sure if I am 100% ready to face the outcome after all this 'hanging-around-and-do-nothing' routine of mine since December. What a shame!!! However, I was pretty nervous and not only butterflies, but I think hornet were also buzzing around in my tummy. What could I do? It was a complete nerve-wrecker! If I think about it for a second, if, just IF the outcome is bad, then I can never rely my hope in going to med school under sponsorship. I think it a complete burdensome for my parents if I insist on going to med school if they were to pay for my studies, fully for 6 years and a little more maybe? THAT is why I am not sure what am I feeling right now. It will be the decision of a life time. I really hope that all the works that I put in would pay back. I would not add the word 'hard' in front of 'work' because I can't judge if I had worked hard enough to get the perfect outcome. Gosh......

Still, I think I need to have at least a little HOPE and PRAYERS that He is always with me. And hoping that He will pay me back, fairly with what I have always worked for. Ameeeeen ya rabbal 'alameeeen. Well, judging from my point of view, I also hope that there would still be other people who pray for my success too (like................my previous precious friends who had motivated me up to who I am now)

I guess that is all for now.

L's

Shocking!!

2011-02-20T12:30:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone!!!

I know....It is always been a while before I start writing here again. But well, no one ever reads my posts anyway. So, I don't really care. I do have a lot of time....It's just that I dont really have a strong keen to come and post every single day. My life is completely boring for the past few months and there is nothing else I could do except for doing house chores, cook meals, watching kdramas or tw dramas online. I have also long forgotten my routine of downloading loads of dramas. I seem to have watched all the interesting dramas that took the whole 2010 to air in just a month and a half. hah! how amazing is THAT??

Well, the shocking news is that I was just told that an acquaintance of mine (erm......really? an 'acquaintance'??) seems to having a difficult time for his tertiary studies. apparently, he did not take Chemistry during high school as i thought he did. So, what I know is that he took Maths w Extension, Graphics, Physics and English? only i guess.....wow! so detailed =.= I hate myself for knowing. Duh~

hmmm.....bleeeeehh... i dont care about him. It's his problem, so why should i be bugged w what he is encountering as one of the biggest boundaries in his life?? cheeet!

Ok, fine! I just feel sad for him. He must be so disappointed, frustrated and devastated. I just hope that things will eventually get better for this 'acquaintance' of mine. May Allah be with him and may he succeed in all his undertakings.

I've got to go now. I'll try to come by every once in a while.......or maybe more often than that.

Adios everyone!!!!!

HOLIDAYS

2011-01-31T23:26:00.002+08:00

Dad is home, Mom is home and I am home.

There is only one spot left vacant. Cik Payung!!!!! hurry and come home!!!

Which reminds me of the cute English that Cik Payung students wrote when she was talking to me on the phone. Wonder if I can help out at some tadika or something....ngeheheheh

This upcoming Wednesday, FULL HOUSE!!

But Thursday is going to be my first driving class =.="

L's

Being a Loner

2011-01-27T15:12:00.003+08:00

I made a big mistake for forgetting one of my closest friend's D-day. I feel terrible. Most of the dates that are important, I usually store them in my phone's calendar so that it can remind me of those important dates. But yesterday, it totally betrayed me and left me all alone, facing one of the most unforgivable things I have done in my life.

It is true that I should not be expecting things from other people on my birthday. It is because me, myself in an unreliable, untrustworthy and ungrateful friend. I should really look back at what friendship really means. Is it really to remember a date that is that important? I feel so sorry....

Dear Makcik Pink,
Sorry for not being a good friend. Someone who is as forgetful as me should only be considered as ungrateful for doing that to you. I wish you a Happy Belated 18th Birthday. May Allah bless you always no matter where you go, or where you are. I know, I have so many weaknesses that you have bore with for the whole year. I am more of a blunt person. I will try to be better. I'm also sorry that I could not be there, with you or for you. I'm sorry that I didn't keep my promise to be a good friend that I wanted to be. No matter what you do, I hope you'll always be happy though. I think you should really ditch me as a punishment. Heheh. Take care~ I love you!!!

Due to these kinds of mistakes, I had once decided to go for being a loner. Cause then I would have no one to hurt or to be hurt of. But.....is repenting enough? I am such a loser. and, I think i have personality disorder for being so self-centered.

For the past few weeks, Facebook is an alien to me. I don't know why but logging into FB would only make me feel more lonely cause honestly, it feels like there is nothing that I can do there. I just feel so lost. I know you guys are reading this post. It has been a while since I let my friends read my blog. But then, I don't know.....Dont you think my life is so boring? I think I should go see a therapist for having this kind of personality.

But then..........is all I can say is "I am Sorry"???

L's

TIME

2011-01-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

I've just realised that since the new year came along, I had never been here at least once. I feel so sorry for myself for not paying much attention to one place that I chose to spill and rant all over by myself.

List of things that should be done for 2011? I am not revealing it. Or maybe it is only because I have no list of things that should be accomplished. It is as simple as that.

Everywhere I go, (well as far as where I have been then) other people seem to be achieving things greater than they had when they were younger. Everyone is getting along just fine with time. But.........I, on the other hand, feel like I am stuck with time. Not moving forward nor reversing. Of course, in life there should be no turning back except for reminiscing and learning from the past experiences. What can i say? Maybe, just maybe that this feeling of mine is just the outcome of having nothing to do at home for the past one month. I asked myself this morning, am I accomplishing anything at all right now? The answer is, NO.

I just sit at home, doing nothing. Well, mostly onlining. But what else should I do?

Since two weeks ago, Mom and Dad had already asked me twice. Casually, but I definitely were not comfortable with the question.

"You should really think of what you are going to continue with after your result comes out. Are you really sticking to your childhood dream, or are you having second thoughts and having other things that you actually want to pursue? Those are the questions that should be on your thought."

Intimidating, infuriating, frightening, scary and what other words can I describe my feeling about the future? It is MY future that I am talking about. I had once wished that I could be like normal teenagers who would not set their mind or goal in anything specific except for going with the flow and see how it goes. But, seeing how nervous I am for not knowing what is going to happen seems to be worse than the 'me planning on my future' once upon a time.

I just hope that something or someone would come along and knock me conscious of what is it that I really want to do, with passion and that would really really really make me happy for contributing to the society.

The future is now officially one of the things that are very scary to me.

The other thing about time is, I still cannot believe that I am turning 18. It feels like I am still a child that needs to learn about soooooo many things before I turn an age where I am already considered as an adult. Why is the age of 25 still seem 'old' to me? aish........I am doomed!

Look forward to the future miss L!!

L's

Bon Voyage 2010

2010-12-31T23:56:00.001+08:00

Selamat tinggal 2010!!!!!!

Annyeong 2010!!!!

Bye bye 2010!!!!!

The tragedy

2010-12-30T17:15:00.006+08:00

Good day everyone.....or may I say, Good day to myself.

Just a few days back, Mom asked if I was still contacting him. Apparently, I can't seem to find her real motive of asking such a question. I was never a friend of him. So, why should I?? Clearly she would have known that for the past 3 years.

I never talked to him like a friend. Ignoring him was the accurate word to describe me whenever he was around at my house, his house, or where ever our families were together. After a year has passed, I am 100% sure that he has completely forgotten me. yep.

So, why did Mom and Sis made a conspiracy and embarrassed me by asking such a silly Q?! gosh. I was completely speechless. Now that I'm writing about the 'incident', my body suddenly feels very warm. I think i'll be down with a fever in a few seconds. brrrrrr...... *trying to wash out all the uncomfortable feeling*

I'm moving on with my own life!!!!!!! (a shout towards mom and sis)

L's

Tak Tahu

2010-12-22T00:50:00.002+08:00

Frankly speaking, i'm not even aware of the real reason that i came here tonight. Why? Why?

I can't express myself. I was never good with that.

"I don't mind if they talk behind my back. as long as I don't know that they are. because then, I would end up breaking all the trust that I have for them."
this was what I had said to her. but now, i don't know.

Maybe this is the real reason I had been feeling lonely all the time. Because of my attitude, they all move away. sometimes I'd think that maybe, just maybe that it was enough.

I hate this. I just wish that people would stop talking.

MERDEKA!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-09T18:05:00.002+08:00

Salam

HAHAHAHA!! exams are OVER and it should be behind me. But, I decided not to cast it away just yet cos I know that would be ruining everything. Well, let's just say that I am going to put in more sincerity in things that I do, contribute or whatsoever. Like people said, don't get too excited out of something that is uncertain =)

Yesterday, it was the end for the exams. It does not mean that it is going to be the end for all of us to gather together and meet again. I know next year, THAT day, we will absolutely see each other. But......it is kind of sad to know that my days won't be filled with laughter from everyone in class and so on. No more teases, cries and shouting out of anger towards the boys who sometimes crossed the line too far.

I'm sure one day, I'll reflect back to the memories and smile my brightest smile. Haha. what a feeling.

I'm not sure what my friends have to say if they see this. I know, I've been through this kind of situation a few times before but every time is never that easy. Fortunately, I did not shed any tears myself. HAHA. I am not that weak....hihi

I've got a party to go to tonight~ hehehehe... gonna have fun w them! although im not very sure if there will be alot of girls compared to boys or not. haha. bye2~

3 more to go!!

2010-12-01T17:29:00.003+08:00

~~Bahasa Melayu~~

~~Bahasa Inggeris~~

~~Sejarah~~

~~Matematik Moden~~

~~Pendidikan Islam~~

~~Matematik Tambahan~~

Fizik

Kimia

Biologi

Hohoho...enjoying the waiting. ngahahaha.

Mommy tak jadi pergi US this year, tapi she's going next February. wooot2~

"Mommy sayang, mau ikotttttt!!" hehehe

bajet boleh je. but, who knows anything about 'luck' kan? LOL

and Daddy, he's got an apartment instead of just a small room! Lagi I boleh melaram. hoh0hoh0.. sukanya!!!! Kuala Lipis is not that far either. at least that is what i heard from Teacher tersayang. haha!

Apa2 pun, let's just finish the exams first. jangan ter-over-excited in advance pulak. huhu.

ciao~

L's

NARROW-minded

2010-11-28T19:08:00.004+08:00

Salam..

apakah yang patut di lakukan bila seseorang yg narrow-minded and literally 'blind' said something horrible to you?

sakit hati, yes.

geram, yes.

bull****, yes.

maybe, the only thing to do is ignore him. what a man! ooops! i mean, a boy...let's just treat it as him being immature kan? sabarlah wahai hati........

but so far, i dare say that i won't forget nor forgive him for what he said. noktah.

out now~ foooh! mintak2 la spm hbs cepat so that I won't have to see him again! and, for me to get flying colours la kan... ;-)

roger, and out.

Envy

2010-10-08T13:47:00.003+08:00

Envy is BAD thing. I know it but yet, I still have it in me..

the thing is, I know how much it hurts to be disappointed soooo much when we expect something but we didn't get it. I hate it. So, I certainly do not want anyone around me to feel that way. In the end, I still planned a surprise for her... Happy Belated Birthday dear!!

46 of 45 days to the BIG day! still in the air cause i can't seem to find a place to land T.T
I'm off now~

THOUGHTS

2010-09-06T20:20:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
Felt like writing today, so I came over. Thought about something that devastated me a little. I could have been there, with them. But I am not. I dont belong there anymore. They dont know me much, and I dont know them much. How much does it hurt? Indescribable..

I had to call her my 'old'bestfriend instead of my forever bestfriend. what is that?! I know I'm being stressed out by myself while they have no idea that I'm writing this. I just need a gateaway from this kind of feelings.

I miss old times. I dont talk to them like who I am anymore. or, do i? what is it that i should do anyway?!

Maybe....just maybe I should go and resume our friendship. besides, friendships should last forever instead of breaking it totally. I know there would be something that can trigger the 'thing' and get our friendships back on track. So, I'll do my best to achieve that.

L's

Ramadhan 2010 and Trial exams

2010-08-21T17:25:00.005+08:00

Salam..

1st Ramadhan since i got back and I am not very sure what should i feel like. It feels.....different somehow. I am going to miss the ramadhans that I have spent in NZ. my own homecooking, all the gatherings and all the vacation trips with other Malaysians. I just miss the old life.

one and a half week till the end of my Trial exams. wish me all the best of luck? InsyaAllah, God willing, I'll do my best and try to achieve my best. Definitely, I dont want to disappoint daddy, mom and everyone who are putting high hopes on me. Gosh! sometimes life is just never that easy. I have to say that right now, even though I am putting my best effort in achieving my goal, I just can't see my real future. it is not blurry, but it is blank, absolutely blank. Which is very frightening.

I don't want to lose hope, so having faith in him after all the hardwork would be the best option so far. Ya Allah ya tuhan, help me please...

to everyone, I hope it is still not too late to wish you Happy fasting and Happy Ramadhan al-Mubarak. May Allah bless....

hmm...before i forget, THE day is coming and i wish that i would not be hoping for anything. Plus, i AM a nobody. I just want to be as quiet and i can... =)

L's

Dia...

2010-06-25T15:14:00.003+08:00

Tiap-tiap kali aku buka page dia, i can feel something falling on my heart, my chest and my mind. Bila aku akan jadi seperti dia? I am not perfect and I can't see myself working hard towards perfection.

or....is it wrong to work towards perfection? Dia menjadi satu inspirasi.....maturity is the major part. When will I ever grow up and find the maturity that i should have gained?
Im the only one who can answer that ay? Independent? I don't think so anymore.... I'm a coward! Please God, please help me........

Shouldn't have done it...Shouldn't have sent it....I shouldn't....I shouldn't.....and I shouldn't have.....

To change or Not to change

2010-06-17T18:49:00.002+08:00

Salam to everyone...

It's been a while since I updated my blog..huhu.. overload madness with all the workloads yg semakin hari semakin bertimbun. I'm not sure if I should even write this post sebab terasa kosong pula tiba-tiba.

I read a book that opened my heart and soul again (i sound like a true BUNGA with this ayat =.=) for the 1000th time by the same author.. She amazed me like she always did with every page that i flipped through and I just never get tired of it. I know sometimes it can be quite boring if she writes about the same theme over and over again but with different surroundings of the character themselves. However, it did it anyway. Got me listen to what she has to say about life and changes that we have got to make in order to be a BETTER person.

Macam mana nak jadi baik?

I'm not even sure what is the true definition of 'baik' in general and I'm still searching for it under my own thoughts and opinion. The other day, I asked several close friends around me, 'Adakah fikiran semakin matang seiring dengan peningkatan umur?' Guess what? my own best friend said NO. Haha.

Well, I agree with her very much. It depends on experiences that one goes through. It doesnt matter if it is hardships or happiness in life. Everything comes together in one package. THAT is why i have my own philosophy! Heheh. 'Life is like a DARK chocolate. It is sweet and bitter at the same time'. Wonder why did i emphasize the word 'dark'? because i think, dairy milk chocolate such as Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate does not have the richness of the cocoa's bitterness. Wahaha! I'm talking like I'm a true chocolate critic. In my dreams la..... =)

Back to my topic today, I think it depends on what things that I want to change in own self. People said that you know yourself. Bak kata pepatah, tepuk dada dan tanya diri sendiri. Heheh. I'm using all kinds of proverbs and pepatah melayu nowadays... Ahaks!

Well, maybe I should try and change a little bit here and little bit over there. Just so happen that I want my life to be as colourful as other people. You write your own history. So, don't waste it! He he.. I'm trying my best to cheer myself up here! Huhuhuhu... Take it step by step. Don't be gabra or nervous somehow. Jangan gelabah la tu~

Anyways, I should go now. Enough spilling la kot. Another thing to note myself, YOU HAVE GOT SOME BIGGER DREAMS TO ACHIEVE. JANGAN SPOIL YOUR MIND DENGAN BENDA-BENDA KECIL KAY? MOTIVATE YOURSELF SO THAT YOU CAN BE JUST LIKE DIA.....

Come hell or high water, Allah will always be there for me...and for us..
May Allah bless,
me <3

I'm Missing ............

2010-02-11T23:32:00.002+08:00

Salam.

I know that I've written a similar post to this, but it's not wrong to repeat what is written in my heart right?

I am truly and deeply missing MOM, DAD and everything about NZ..... 3 words and a thousand meaning? Let myself know what the thousand meanings are.. I really really really do.

MOM, of course I call her at least once a week. Hey! I'm a good girl. I stick to my promises. I promised her that I'd call at least once in two weeks but in the end, I couldn't wait. So I call her once a week. HAHA. I'm spoiled I know.. Hey! It's MOM we're talking about~

My English is getting worse over time... I dont know what I should do but I've tried my best to use English in my everyday life. People know me because of my 'kerek'-ness and my outgoing attitude at school. I think so...... At least it is what I think is true.

DAD is in KL and I dont know how often does he drive KL-SINTOK in a month. But I'm pretty sure that I can guess how often it is... He's sooooooo hardheaded! (hopefully he's never going to read this) I'm worried.. that's why.

NZ..... what else I can say? I just miss it.. miss them.. *I have to read between this line*

I think that's all for tonight.. TOV just ended and CNY holidays started. 9 days but every single day will be cut out and it will end up just like any other weekdays. Well, at least Cik Payung and Su are gonna be here... =D (senyum tigaaaaa)

Thank Allah,
May Allah bless.

Welcome 2010!!

2009-12-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

Salam

Habit saya sebelum menulis post di blog sendiri, mesti check out blog2 yang dah di update-kan dahulu (yg saya follow je la.. kalau rajin baru tinjau blog orang lain). Majority daripada mereka sudah pun menulis post berkenaan tahun baru yang bakal tiba dalam masa setengah jam lagi.

Dalam blog ini, saya sudah pun menulis tentang tahun baru di dalam post ini. Jadi, perlukah saya mengucapkan selamat tahun baru lagi? Tengok lah nanti. Haha.

2009 adalah tahun akhir saya menetap di New Zealand. (chet! macam la lama sangat menetap di sana) 2 tahun di rantau orang, mesti la saya sudah pun berjaya mem-'buat' persahabatan dengan beberapa international students di sana. Saya bakal rindukan mereka di sekolah tahun depan. I love you guys!! (mereka tidak akan faham kata2 saya di dalam post ini anyway)

Hari ni, saya sakan dengan benda lain sehingga buku langsung tidak di sentuh. Saya bukan lah seorang pelajar yang sangat berdedikasi tetapi untuk menyedapkan hati sendiri sahaja. Risau sangat yang saya tidak akan dapat 'catch up' bersama dengan pelajar2 yang sama tahun dengan saya naik sekolah ni. Tyical ain't it?

English saya semakin menurun dek penggunaan English di dalam kehidupan seharian yang juga semakin berkurangan. Saya telah mencuba sedaya upaya untuk menterjemahkan setiap perkataan yang saya selalu guna seperti 'so', 'exercise' etcetra etcetra ke dalam BM kerana saya mahu melatih diri menggunakan BM sebenar. Sudah lama benar tidak menggunakan bahasa melayu sepenuhnya di dalam satu ayat. Saya sangat kolot. Haha

Naik sekolah ni, tidak ada lagi Sherry, JiaLi, Miriam, Elly, Sreyna, Stacey, Mrs McIntosh, Mr err.... (short term memory. saya lupa guru English saya di HGHS), Mr Porteous, Pohon bunga Sakura di depan Malins block, Hall yang sangat rendah suhunya lagi2 musim Winter, keselesaan berada di dalam bilik Malins 2.4 dgn heater yang sangat comforting, Buku2 Patricia Cornwell dll di Hamilton City Library, Pakcik drebar bas H2go 13-University yg sangat murah dgn senyuman, kekuningan bangunan Pak n Save dan kehijauan bangunan Countdown, (berbalik kepada sekolah) eksperimen2 saya sepanjang menjadi partner Elly YooJiEun, rants and ramble-shackle of Sherry, Biology notes-4-revision with JiaLi, the strong, long and fast strides of Miriam bila berjalan ke Bus depot. Apa lagi saya tak tulis? Banyak! terlalu banyak kenangan yang dapat di imbas kembali. Saya sudah kembali ke moments yang sangat2 berharga. Banyak mengajar saya ttg erti berkawan dan kehidupan. Lain bangsa dan agama, gelak ketawa, bermasam muka (bukan saya =). Semuanya pasti akan dirindui oleh penulis post ini. I lived life, and My life has still got to go on...

Jadi, saya mahu mengucapkan Selamat datang 'Tahun 2010' dari saya. Moga2 kita boleh berjabat mesra dan menjadi teman yang baik since saya akan berjuang habis-habisan tahun depan. Haha. SPM candidate la katakan.. insyaAllah, Allah is with me, with us, until the end..

to others

Selamat Tahun Baru to all
May this be another good start of our lives bagi siapa2 yg mahu menjadi better, berubah, achieve the azams yg tak sempat nak dicapai tahun2 lepas, dll.
Live life up to the fullest, live it to enjoy, to cherish, to remember, to make use of (seperti saya) dll..
All the best to everyone kay =)

itu sahaja dari saya kali ni, May Allah bless

p/s: saya rindu ibu.. tapi mesti tahan sebab saya akan call ibu lusa. HEHE. oh ya! Cik Payung is leaving tmr. Jadi, NO internet untuk saya guna sehinggalah beliau pulang semula ke pangkuan saya (geli punya ayat. ignore-kan saya). Good night everyone =D

BG blog dan Hari Ini

2009-12-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

Salam

Ucapan salam lagi untuk hari ini. Saya telah post satu entri di waktu pagi, kini tiba masa untuk entri yang tak penting langsung di waktu malam-6 minit lagi untuk tiba hari yang baru.

Apa tujuan entri kali ini? Pernahkah saya menulis entri yang berfaedah untuk dibaca? Seingat saya, memang tidak pernah. Hanya mencoret apa yang saya mampu keluarkan dari mind yang sangat kosong. Mengisi masa lapang sebenarnya. HAHA

Seperti yang saya katakan dalam post sebelum ini, saya sudah bosan dengan BG blog sendiri. Tak betul bukan? Nampak sangat la saya ni seorang yang menunggu dan membaca blog sendiri sepanjang masa. Tapi, memang saya buat pun. It's a part of my routine. Seronok juga bila saya baca semula 'repekan' saya sepanjang saya berblogging. Sangat interesting rupanya life saya! (perasan sendiri..)

Pagi tadi, saya ke sekolah dengan Tok Ayah. Mengikut sahaja arahan seorang pegawai Pejabat Pelajaran Daerah. Tuan Pengetua sangat baik! Guru Penolong Kanan I pun sangat baik! Tahniah kepada L's kerana insyaAllah, boleh la tu..

Kiranya, urusan hampir selesai. Hanya perlu pergi ke bandar esok untuk mencari beberapa barang keperluan yang lain. =( Rugi sahaja saya minta ayah belikan kasut baru. Rupanya terpaksa beli kasut yang lain. Adik-adik sedara la yang akan jadi successor-ku. Bukan ke masih lagi boleh di recycle? Mesra alam kan saya??

Ok, saya sudah penat. Mahu off dan tidur dengan nyenyak walaupun ada risiko jatuh katil seperti tragedi 5 malam lepas. =.=

p/s: saya semakin ketagih untuk membaca blog orang. Adakah ini sesuatu yang baik ataupun buruk? NO comment...

Tahun Baru

2009-12-29T07:38:00.005+08:00

Salam..

Walaupun saya tahu blog ini tidak ramai yang singgah, tetap juga diberi salam. Mana la tahu, tiba-tiba ada orang terdetik rasa mahu pergi lihat2 dan tinjau2 blog apakah ini. Jikalau anda baru sampai, saya ucapkan 'Welcome to err..' saya pun tak tahu nak panggil apa.

Saya di dalam mood selamba dan blur sekarang. Kenapa? Saya pun tidak ada jawapan yang pasti. Masih lagi berkira-kira jikalau saya patut menulis post ini. Dah lama saya tak tidur semula selepas solat Subuh, dan hari ni saya meluangkan waktu ini untuk menulis pula di pagi hari (memang tak pernah dibuatnya!)

Hairan mengapa saya menulis post menggunakan Bahasa Melayu? Saya memang seorang Melayu. Salah satu sebab lagi, mungkin kerana sudah sampai masa untuk saya meningkatkan penggunaan BM yang agak formal dalam percakapan seharian. Jikalau Cik Payung singgah, maaf la ye.. Jadi operator yang berdedikasi lagi. HAHA

Hampir sebulan. Sudah dua minggu saya di sini. Tak lah sampai menghitung hari dengan 'bila nak balik nih.......' Ini kerana, saya memang sudah berada di tempat yang boleh dipanggil 'home' erti kata lain 'rumah'. HAHA. Saya merepek lagi. Sudah ketandusan idea untuk menulis apa lagi.

Oh ya! Saya tinjau blog seseorang yang boleh saya panggil 'interesting'. Bagi saya ya, bagi beliau, saya tak tahu. Siapa lagi yang berkongsi dengan saya? Cik Payung la juga.. Kata-kata beliau yang mungkin saya boleh ambil iktibar untuk menenangkan hati saya sendiri,

"I think Your life is more interesting than mine. I'm just a housewife."

Mengapa perlu saya mengambil iktibar? Mestilah untuk menenangkan 'kerendahan keyakinan diri' saya. HAHA. memang terbukti saya ni tidak patut dipanggil Melayu sejati. BM pun boleh tunggang-langgang. Saya baru sedar, setiap perkara dan kata-kata yang saya ucapkan selama hidup ini, boleh dipanggil interesting. Setiap orang pun macam tu. Bukan saya je.

Jadi, saya mesti belajar menerima seadanya dan cuba melakukan yang terbaik untuk menghiasnya sendiri. Anda macam mana? Itu sahaja kot yang saya mahu kongsi hari ni. Kalau anda sebagai pembaca tidak faham akan apa yang saya tulis, maaf. saya bukan seorang yang reti menulis dan meluahkan rasa hati. Kadang2, apa yang melintas di hati lain dengan apa yang saya curahkan. Spilling might not be the best word to describe it after all~

HAHA(5x). Kenapa saya gelak? Saya baru tersedar yang post ini tidak ada kena dengan tajuknya. Mungkin ada, tetapi tidak nyata sangat, yes? Itu kira salah satu azam yang saya mahu sematkan dalam dada sempena tahun baru yang bakal menjelang dalam kurang masa seminggu.

Selamat Tahun Baru Masihi semua!!! May this will give you a good start in life.. =D

P/s: Saya mungkin 'menghilangkan diri' selama beberapa minggu atau beberapa hari starting next week......kot. Availability of internet tidak boleh dijamin. HAHA. bahana menumpang orang punya broadband... =) abaikan saya, masih lagi di dalam mood blur dan tak betul~ dan satu lagi! Saya sudah mula rasa bosan dengan BG blog ini. Ingin tukar, tetapi tidak dijamin di dalam waktu terdekat. Masih lagi dalam pencarian BG yang baru..

May Allah bless

Tension

2009-12-13T17:50:00.004+08:00

Salam...

Tension!!! mostly about the *&%$*^% thing!!
The demands are too much but the understandings are too little. How can it be tolerant? Susah..................................................... I want Mom.. *only certain ppl know what I'm talking abt*

Met my ol' time buddies last week. Was planning on going for an outing with them some time b4 me leaving KL again =.= but unfortunately, don't think it can be done since things are compact as it is. Sorry guys.. After the exams next year lah yer ^_^

My bestie still cheeky! Love and miss her.. but somehow rasa macam jauh sikit.. Kenapa yer? Girls, not too different. okay je tgk. We're still friends no matter what.. Guys, most of them lain macam sikit. Haha! You know what I mean if you havent seen your guys friends that you've known since you're in Standard 1 tapi you only met them after 4 years of high school. Hahaha! I hope you know what I mean... The loud ones become shy la pulak, and the quiet ones jadi loud?! Never mind, I can live with that. They're still the ol' time buddies jugak..

Next week, permulaan baru? Really hope things will go fine.. I just want to get this over with.. Teruk betul! Setakat sikit la sgt hal tu.. nak merungut tak habis2 huh..

Anyways, I'm playing games now. Terjebak wif my aunt and sis. =.= Sue me

Salam and May Allah bless

Tagged

2009-12-01T16:09:00.003+08:00

Saje2 nak buat tag since I'm soo bored and can't be bothered to pack my things..

What's your..
1. Last beverage : Ribena
2. Last phone call : 5am this morning. Ayah..
3. Last text message: Dila-wait for them infront of my mailbox
4. Last song you listened to : No Woman No Cry-Bob Marley
5. Last time you cried : can't remember.. (tears are not coming out)

Have u ever..
6. Dated someone twice : Nein
7. Been cheated on : Nope
8. Kissed someone and regretted it : Nope
9. Lost someone special : Maybe?
10. Been depressed : Is Crying out of nerve-wrecking exams called depressed?
11. Been drunk and threw up : Nein

Three favourite colour..
12. Sky blue
13. Light Green
14. Rainbows

This year have you..
15. Made a new friend : suuuure
16. Fallen out of love : Nah.. Not my type..
17. Laughed until you cried : Yess3!
18. Met someone who changed you : Maybe?
19. Found out who were your true friend : I figure
20. Found out someone was talking about you : Not sure..
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list : Nein
22. How many people on your friend list do you know in real life : Never counted
23. How many kids do you want to have : 3? 4? 2 pairs?
24. Do you have any pets : Nein
25. Do you want to change your name : Nah.. fine with mine now
26. What did you do for your last birthday : baked my own blueberry cream vanilla cake as my birthday cake
27. What time did you wake up today : 9.30am or 10.30am? LOL
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : dreaming
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for : not sure anymore.. for going home?
30. Last time you saw your Mother : am looking at her now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : dont think I want to..
32. What are you listening to right now : TV ads
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : Nein
34. What's getting on your nerves right now : don't know..
35. Most visited webpage : yahoo mail!
36. Whats your real name : do i have to say?
37. Nicknames : L's
38. Relationship Status : Single and happy~
39. Zodiac sign : Virgo
40. Male or female : Female
41. Elementary? : SKSK & SKTU
42. High School? : SMKTM & HGHS so far..
43. College: anticipating it..
44. Hair colour : Black with Brownish highlights..
45. Long or short : Medium XDD
46. Height : 154cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : LOL. secret not be shared
48. What do you like about yourself? : being me, and not judgemental
49. Piercings : Ear
50. Tattoos : Nein
51. Righty or lefty : Righty

First..
52. First surgery : None
53. First piercing : can't remember
54. First best friend : Fatin Syahirah Md Isa and still is..
55. First sport you joined : congkak.. ahaks!

56. First vacation : dont know..
57. First pair of trainers : same as above

Right now..
57. Eating : full from dinner
58. Drinking : still full
59. I'm about to : Solat
60. Listening : various sound waves coming from all directions
61. Waiting : for me to finish this thing!

Yours future..
62. Want kids? : Yes
63. Get Married? : Yes
64. Career? : Yes!

Which is better..
65. Lips or eyes : BOTH
66. Hugs or kisses : Both
67. Shorter or taller : Honestly? I dont care anymore..
68. Older or Younger : Let fate decides
69. Romantic or spontaneous : Both

70. Nice stomach or nice arms : I don't care
71. Sensitive or loud : depends..
72. hook up or relationship : Relationship
73. Trouble maker or hesitant : I don't care

Have you ever..
74. Kissed a stranger : Nope
75. Drank Hard Liquor : Never
76. Lost glasses/contacts : Not wearing one
77. Sex on first date : NO!
78. Broken someone's heart : Never knew
79. Been arrested : Nope
80. Turned someone down : Tak ingat
81. Cried when someone died : I think so??
82. Fallen for a friend? : LOL! another secret that is not to be shared..
83. At the end, you need to choose 15 people (girls n boys) to be tagged and list their names: Anyone who want to do this..

At the moment...

2009-12-01T15:40:00.002+08:00

Salam to all..

firstly, Happy 46th Birthday to AYAH~ May Allah bless you always with successful daughters, and a very very very happy family!! Ameeeen....

secondly, i really feel like bursting out with tears T^T
Was it really the climax? I'm going to miss it.. No last words? I'll get along just fine with it! I don't need it! It's not going to happen! It's just me!! me! me! (pardon me with the emo mood)
LOL! but certain things did happen though *.*

enough daydreaming. I'm going back home in 3 days, and i dont know if i need to feel sad or happy about it. NZ.. NZ.. NZ.. NZ... gonna miss NZ...

I hope the future is going to be fine and good(as wished). Everything will be excellent! insyaAllah.. Ameen.. I'll be distracted in a jiffy~ Hahax! I'm not myself rite now..

Sreyna said I'm a cold person. am I? maybe....SHY? whatever. dont care and dont need to take notice of. Later then!

p/s: got a similar book to this for the hadiah perpisahan.. Thank you aunty H and family! *flying in the air again*

ONE more..

2009-11-22T14:26:00.002+08:00

Salam... as usual~ me missing this place!!

ONE more paper to go and I'm done with the things here! Well, not exactly since I have to go to school again and see Ms Wood for my records etcetra etcetra.. Am I sad? Frankly YES, of course! It feels like my life is changing or shifting in some way that makes me knowing new people, new places and new adventures ahead of me. A bit tired since I havent settled down in a place for more than 2 years since I was what? 11? 12 maybe? It may have not been too long ago but i really do long for the normal and relaxing life that other ppl possess. Well, maybe I'm being a bit judgemental now since I'm saying that I don't have a normal life T^T

CHEMISTRY! Got distinction last time and hopefully, I will keep it that way for this time. I'm beyond nervous now since I've done my best and now, leaving the rest to Him. Tawakkal as we say it. Heeee~

Trying to resist the urge to cry right now, thinking that I might not see T anymore. J and S are leaving on Tuesday. E is leaving on Friday. I'm not as strong as other ppl think I am. At least not what I expect from myself.

I have another paper to go and yet, I'm sitting here, typing and still wondering why do i always end up writing alot of words and things when I'm here? Probably I've been missing alot of things and missing the blog too.

ME--> impatient but SAD to leave. bubye in another 2 weeks time!!! and also I havent talked to cik payung since that thing. and I'm not sure if i do have the intention to anyway -stop now and off-

Assalamualaikum
May Allah bless

Tsk3..

2009-10-27T11:14:00.004+08:00

Salam. sebenarnya, tak tahu nak letak apa as title post kali ni. Mostly because my mind is bland because of the sudden increase in body temperature and then the sudden decrease in body temperature. If this keep coming, I think I might end up babbling all the way for the next 3 weeks. Menandakan kepala aku dah ting tong and senget lopsided.

CAUTION!: Ignore the next paragraph if you're not CIK PAYUNG, If you're not into the emo kind of thing, If you hate ppl yg cepat makan hati or tengah kepala pusing babbling about crap. AMARAN AWAL! saya tak bertanggung jawab kalau anda tak suka dan tak faham apa yg saya mengarut.

Terbayang-bayang lagi post itu. That throbbed my heart a bit. I'm still trying to understand her situation. I miss her soo much tapi tak boleh nak angkat telefon and call her. I'm still hurt. Cepat la pulak aku ni makan hati. I dont mind if other ppl say it but HER??!!! If you're reading this (cik payung), accept it then. Since it's my opinion anyway. I wouldn't say ours not meriah and not close to each other. It's just the fact that ours is scattered. When we get together, boleh je. meriah je. Frankly speaking, I'm thankful that i'm one of ours. I miss the times when we eat pisang goreng together (on the way sending me to tangkak) and even the times when we lepak2 tepi laut makan keropok lekor and the huge pisang goreng (with the delicious sambal kicap on the way sending YOU to ur hostel). Did u think that I didn't miss all the sweet times? I think of it and YOU everyday, every single moment tau.

Pardon me, emo + sakit = kepala tak berapa nak betul. Belog saya, saya nak tulis ape pun boleh kan?

Time down2 macam ni la baru nak ingat kat Dia, Allah, Tuhan yg satu. But he will always love you no matter what kan. That's the beauty of trusting him, loving him, having faith in him, believing in him. Sometimes, it is a fact. The hard moments are tests from Him, its only and ONLY because He wants me to remember that I have Him. People say that this year (at this age) should be the sweetest year in our life. Which I dont think so. I think it is up to us to plan and try our hardest to make it the sweetest memory of our life. BUT, if only and IF Allah decides that our plan is the best for our life. we plan, He decide. simple as that.

This year so far, a lot of things has taught me to toughen up. Kememeh jugak la aku nih this year.. (dah la lagu No Women No Cry-Bob Marley pulak keluar dlm mp3 aku skrg nih....... =.= cam tahu2 je) So, the future, tak tau nak expect ape. Will stop here.

Conclusion: Don't write your entries when you're sick and ALONE. Cause you will definitely end up talking crap and emo all the way from the start till the end. oh trust me, Been there, Done that.

Enjoy your sunny day, rainy day, kemarau day, cloudy day, windy day etcetra etcetra~
Assalamualaikum

Fever lagi..

2009-10-26T08:52:00.003+08:00

Salam to all

Fever lagi.. Tak boleh nak buat apa since dia nak datang jugak. Immune system is not working very well ke for the past couple of weeks? I guess so.. Busy! Busy! Busy! (busy2 pun, boleh je download lagu. hantu lagu betul!)

Sesungguhnya aku penat. Emo sejak jumaat. Hari ni pun start balik. Last night breakdown ke kira tu? Complicated betul aku nih. Ayah dah sampai. Nasib baik hari ni cuti Labour Day. Feel like baking some more. Dah buat choc and pandan marble cake. Hampir habis cause bake tu pun sbb ada occasion. Ihik3

3 weeks to exam. 4-5 weeks to the END? bubye la nanti... Kira okay la since I've already fulfilled my hajat nak have a meal with S,E and M. ahaks! too lazy to type their full names. initials would be okay since u dont even know who they are.

To readers, thanks for reading and singgah. Appreciate ur effort coming over to blog yg hampir bersawang.. (dont want to claim its my blog. too ashamed of it! senget benget jek gaya!) To followers, thanks lagi banyak since follow me yg lagi ting tong and senget lopsided.

Huge prayers for u and ur life kay. Kena sambung study nih. Ada formative Bio esok! (Screaaaaaaaaaaam!!!!)

Salam n jumpe lagi next time ^^

p/s: to cik payung, i try to understand it. tapi kenapa still tak leh buang what i felt when i read ur post? ours tak meriah ke? ours tak rapat ke? then what is it? last night i was hurt, today pun hurt jugak. aish..... ignore me.

Hibernate

2009-10-11T05:31:00.002+08:00

Salam to all

Lama sungguh aku hibernate kali ni. Sedar2 je, one entry only for October? Memang aku hibernate. Masih lagi aku down with flu and fever. But the fever dah berkurangan sikit Alhamdulillah. Allah nak uji daku dan juga hukum daku atas thus membersihkan daku daripada dosa2 yg dah bertimbun banyaknya? Wallahu a'lam...

This afternoon kena gagahkan jugak diri ini untuk 'naik' ke Auckland. Have to send my dad to the airport ma.. Kalau tak, menangins tak berlagu la buatnya. Sambil2 tu, take advantage by asking mom to have lunch (or dinner?) kat kedai kebab tu. Slrrrrrrrrrrp! Dah start drooling dah.. hu2

Esok insyaAllah start sekolah semula. Hopefully everything will be fine. Spellbound dengan novels by Sidney Sheldon. Eheh! sempat lagi aku melayan novels tu.. Exams are only 5 WEEKS away!! Freak out ke? insyaAllah boleh kot.. Petang ni pun nak layan Stephen King pulak. Since bukannye boleh nak bawak buku Bio tu utk baca atas kereta. Ahaks~

Okeh! aku nak pi jalan2 download NurKasih yg masih lagi belum available?? (Pooooh! mintak2 la incik HafizAdam dan siap upload..)

Roger and out, Assalamualaikum.

Muhasabah and reminiscing..

2009-10-01T09:28:00.001+08:00

salam to all

bru je tgk blk posts yg dah lepas. the same blog of course. from all that into 'this'..

'this' yg ni pun tak tentu lagi lebih mengarut ke tak. let gone be by gone? sure for me =)

dulu... (mcm lama sgt dah je =.=) pretty much i was the typical person/girl who drools over 'hot' guys on the entertainment pages. i still am but not as much as i was. if i could rewind all that, i wouldn't try to change it anyway cos if i did, i wouldn't get to know such great friends and families (virtually) and have fun berkekek ketawa and guling2 bila sakat menyakat tu. at least i didn't feel abandoned or too lonely considering me, sorang2 kat sini. Blogging and being active in the forum makes me feel kinda accompanied by people around the world and esp malaysian yg active on that side. miss the familia~ T^T

hara, halmoni, aiza unnie, xang unnie, muffin, totto, clarrie and etc.. too many to list down and to be mentioned. i miss everyone~ from them not knowing my real name, melayu ke cina, my face or my appearance. sampai la aku jumpe hlmoni last year when i went back for the summer hols ^_^ sweet times! but akhirnya, aku mula renggang dgn forum-ing and blogging sejak blk malaysia hari tu la T^T dont know why.. didnt see it coming either.

1st factor, no internet connection that wont make me 'berang'. then ape pulak? most of it or u can call it the MAJOR factor. hahaha. lepas tu, sejak blk sini semula, langsung tak ada mood nak blogging. last2, start semula blogging but i still keep in touch with hlmoni since she is the closest to me after all! heheheh... budak hingusan lagi aku ni....

mungkin sekarang aku tengah belajar lagi tentang hidup yang penuh dengan dugaan-Nya. belajar untuk terus berjuang, sabar dan yakin dengan Dia. Hopefully it will last forever. Ameen. Susah la sikit nak terangkan apa yg ada dalam hati. i don't know how to express but usually i just spill everything to myself and then telan balik luahan2 tu. weird? i think so too. ehehe.

tetibe pulak in the mood of listening to classics. Pachelbel's Canon and Schubert's Serenade. miss old times too. lepas tu tibai Paramore, Evanescence, Linking Park or maybe Thousand Foot Krunch? sakit kepala la. kena hentak sikit rasa. heeeeeeee~ (saya masih Hamba Allah yg pacal lagi hina. mencari ketenangan dengan head banging punye type of music? mengarut..... =.=)

Salam to all and Good day ^_^

Curious

2009-09-29T17:29:00.005+08:00

salam to all..

can't believe myself that this is my 2nd post of the DAY!

addicted to blogging or is it just me wanting to spill something on the spot and directly before i turn off my lappie and forget about it?

Mengapa yer sume bende2 tu biasa? Ibu said that it is normal since it is what teenagers do. No offense to other ppl yg membaca tapi i dont think i will simply just say 'I Love You' to ppl just like that.. (ehem2.. yg berkapel la. aku tak heran since aku takde keje nak berkapel2 nih..)

sorry. no offense. just curious jek. camana diorang nih boleh simply use that word? bagi aku words tu amat sacred and belongs to one and only jek. teman hidup. one word - 'husband' or 'wife'

bukan la nak jadi biased ke hape.. mmg betul2 curious. membayangkan aku simply use the word 'love' kat orang yg BELUM tentu lagi jadi teman hidup aku, amat la luar alam dan tandanya aku mmg putus fius. sekarang pun dah tak tentu arah, camana la nak urus mende2 yg mmg sebenar-benarnye luar alam?

okeh! dah keluar dah isi hati. mule2 mmg aku tak berani nak suarakan tapi dah sampai masanya aku direct kerna dah terlalu byk soalan di benak fikiran =.=

emm.. bila pk2 balik pun, tak patut aku judge ppl mcm tu. bukan la maknanya aku tak nak kwn lagi dah ngan kwn2 yg buat mende tu sume. just curious je camana diorang bleh rasa cam boleh guna those words se-simple itu. ini hanyalah sekadar soalan dan pendapat aku?? =)

aku nak jugak jadi seorang yg 'loving'. Loving Allah (our God, our creator), Loving our religion (as for me, islam la ^^), Loving our family (tu pun tak tentu kekal dunia akhirat. mungkin kekal dunia tapi akhirat?). Mesti la aku nak jadi orang yang macam tu. tapi kadang2 rasa macam tak patut je bila orang sekarang buat macam tu..

aish =.= aku rasa cam membebel sorang2. tak berfaedah langsung apa yg aku buat nih! tapi tetap buat jugak.. (berikan petunjuk kepada hambaMu ini ya Tuhan..)

roger and out, nite2 and sleep tight =)
semoga kita dilindungi daripada dreams yg bukan2 =)
Salam

Pening2 and Alter ego..

2009-09-29T13:11:00.002+08:00

salam to all

rasa macam ckp sorang pun ada gak bila blogging nih

better than feeling so helpless and talk to the monitor and then terkekek ketawa sorang2..

setelah 4 hari cuti start, bukak la jugak akhirnya buku tuh. at least bukak right? no matter its too late or too early. eheh! =)

Chemistry jadi mangsa ku..

ayah and ibu pi coffee with tut.. tut.. (friends yer =p) kat FRANKTON
since dgr citer kat situ ada cafe yang amat sedaaaap! (whatever la.. aku tak heran since i dont drink coffee ;P)

since aku tinggal sorang2, mula la merapu and tak betul. otak jadi mereng+senget=putus fius

mula pending pulak masalah yg suatu yg dulu aku fikirkan sudah pun selesai and tamat. rupanya ada pending jugak! (geram jek....) like Allah said, nothing strikes without his permission anyway. so, i have to believe in Him. 'I do believe in you Ya Tuhan'

Baru je habis download The Fray =) nak try out jugak la..

roger and out,
May Allah bless you..

Monday..

2009-09-28T08:08:00.003+08:00

Salam to all

less talking in this post ey

was thinking of getting rid of it

tried my best yesterday by staying away and i guess feeling better about it

penat melayan dah things as ridiculous as this..

for eid celebration, 20 houses down. can't remember how much more to go..

school hols starts and i don't know what to do except for gelak sorang, staring, tido, staring lagi and other things yg included in kategori 'membuang masa'

miss my kakak and family.. - su says t.ayah tak jadi operate, have to wait until the specialist from jepun to come over to k.krian.. hope Allah will protect him, Ameen..

thats all and a pic of Hamiltonians going 'beraya' to Morrinsville. will reminisce the wonderful memory one day =)

Changes

2009-09-22T17:53:00.002+08:00

Changes are good

Changes are like a big step for someone

Sometimes we do need to change in return of something that is extremely important

Apa kata kalau aku pun sahut cabaran tu?

Enjoy life, be thankful for it, and try to change for better

Boleh je kan kalau nak gabungkan all these together?

Buang la semua benda yang mengarut2 tu. Buat lagho diri je.. (bermonolog)

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf zahir & batin.

To my parents, sis and family, Terima kasih dan ampunkan daku sekiranya telah menyusahkan hidup anda yang tak pernah aman damai dengan kehadiranku.. Halalkan segala makan,, minum, makanan ringan serta kudapan2 yang pernah ku pinta dari mu.. Maafkan daku kerana masih lagi tidak dapat meraikan Aidilfitri tahun ini bersama-sama.. insyaAllah, tahun depan pulak kita berpegang pada harapan ey! =)

To peeps everywhere on this earth, ampunkan jugak daku sekiranya daku dahulu sering sekali berkasar atau terkasar bahasa. Terlebih masam daripada gula segala kenangan2 yang ada tu. Percaya lah, AKU DAH BERUBAH!!! Hehehe. insyaAllah kita jumpa2 lagi and buat reunion ramai2 pulak. I miss korang!!

Last but not least, Salam Aidilfitri to all ey. May Allah bless you always

1 Syawal 1430H

2009-09-20T15:37:00.003+08:00

Salam Aidilfitri to all ^_^
May this raya will bring happiness to everyone
Celebrating the leaving of Ramadhan and replacing it with Syawal
Eat those ketupat and rendang peacefully ey~

sedar tak sedar, its been 2 years now and 2 kali jugak la aku beraya kat negeri orang
Not saying that its bad or what but its a big experience. definitely is.
Last year, called my gramps and dapat la bercakap dgn kakak, su, and others.
this year, not yet to confirm since Su and Chik blk kampung lewat sikit.
Kata nenek, nak sekali arung dgn my grandpa's heart operation
Hope everything will be just fine with the operation, Ameen..

This year and last year's Eid will be two different experience, I think..
last year, ayah tak ada. this year, ayah ada. but still, no kakak.
coming here taught me to be a better and more mature person
Not exaggerating but I think I really did.
Sebelum ni mana la tahu nak masak ke buat kek or kuih..
datang sini je kena la buat sendiri semua tu since nak beli, tak sure halal ke tak.
I learnt to be more independent. tak perlu dah nak berkepit bawah ketiak ibu je.
Aku pulak yang cuba jaga ibu. being more assertive since ibu pun kurang sikit.
being a 'protector'? tak de la sangat tapi i try to..

Last year, raya sama2 dgn Malaysia which means kami raya dulu ^_^
This year, raya lewat sehari dari Malaysia which means kami raya lewat jugak =.=

Last year, raya sekali termasuk dlm the first week of term 3 break ^_^
This year, raya exactly seminggu sebelum term break =.=

tak apa la.. kalu dah final, baru la dpt rasa kelainan sikit kan?
Mintak2 next year boleh raya kat kampung semula~ Ameen...

p/s: raya2 ni, nafsu makan kuat! mari lah kita bersama-sama mengontrol nafsu tu ya..
nafsu ni, godaan yg kuat jugak compared to satan. Ramadhan dah habis, satan pun bebas merayau~ Nauzubillah min zalik..

and to kakak2 and abang2 di NZ or any other rantauan.. All the best for exams! esp kakak2 blkg rumah daku~ ^_^ also to peeps kat Msia or rantaun gak, selamat berhari raya dan buat exams baik2 lepas raya nih.. eheh! (including me =.=)

panic attack!!

2009-09-15T17:11:00.001+08:00

Fuh…. Aaaaaaaargghh!!!!

Tengok, tak sempat2 nak bagi salam. Mukadimah pun tak ada lagi. Agaknya itu mukadimah yang paling tepat kot. Heeeee~

Fuh… Lega tu sebab exams trial dah habis. Alhamdulillah, boleh je jawab kot. Kalau ada yang tembak2 tu tak tahu la mengena ke tak. Tapi kat sini nak menebak dengan senapang electron pun tak tentu jadi ke tak. Sebab jawapan dia bukan nak dalam objektif, tapi semua nyer explanation.

Tawakkal je la banyak setelah aku penat mengerah segala isi kepala minda dan otak ni untuk jawab semua soalan2 tu. Tahu ni memang la rekod. Tak ada satu subjek pun tahun ni yang aku sempat habis jawab sebelum habis masa. Semua paper aku terpaksa stay towards the end. Pelik bin ajaib jugak la macam mana bebudak yang lain tu boleh keluar lepas 30 minit je buat papers yg melambak depan mata masa tu. Ish ish ish…

Second phase pulak – Aaaaaaaargh!!!!
Nak panic sebab aku tak buat satu haprak jenis kuih pun lagi nak raya nih!! Ayah memang la sakan ganti aku memasak dinner (iftar) and sahur pepagi tu. Itu pun memang dia sukarela since die pun gila memasak and tak ada apa nak buat except jadi drebar aku and ibu. Kui kui kui.. oh ya! Tukang masak pun iye jugak.. heeee~ aku pun sakan cuti masak sempena pekse nih.
Tapi tetap nak panic gak since takde satu pun kuih or biskut yang aku dah bakar. Tapi grinder kaka belakang rumah dah pinjam. Esok pulak aku off sekolah. Elok la sangat timing. Sempat la kot aku nak bakar satu dua jenis kuih or biskut esok insyaAllah..

Raya:
Kalau raya jatuh pada hari Ahad, aku ucap syukur la since bagus je timing tu sebab weekend. Eheh! Tapi kalau jatuh hari Isnin, maaf aku nak nak ucap to my friends and teachers~ Aku ponteng!!! Hehehehe.. nak gi semayang raya, nak gi beraya kejap satu hari tu. I wonder la if this year’s Eid is going to be almost similar to last year’s Eid. But maybe different since daddy wasn’t here last year but he is gonna be here this year. I’m really anticipating it!

Okeh, dah banyak aku menaip dan mengarut lagi nih. Honestly la, tukang karut ni memang boleh putus wayar lama2 dok depan computer ni..

Salam to all, May Allah bless you

R.I.N.D.U

2009-09-12T17:43:00.004+08:00

Salam to all..

Haha. Macam apa je title post kali ni. Ada apa dah ke Yana? Well, banyak sangat benda yang tgh dirindukan saat ni. Tanah air, kakak, kuih muih Malaysia (yang boleh dibeli di bazaar- banyak pilihan daripada buat sendiri kat sini. Ngee!!!), nenek and tok ayah, mak usu and ayahsu tercinta dll.

Kenapa mesti rindu walhal boleh sahaja gagang telefon diangkat dan hanya dail nombor kad idd seterusnya membuat panggilan antarabangsa ke Malaysia?Sebab rasa rindu tu tak cukup kuat kot..

Apa la Yana! Punya banyak la benda yang kau rindukan tapi tak sanggup nak angkat telefon tu? Aish.. bukannya apa, tapi bila penyakit ‘M’ (malas) dah menular, apa yang dah dirancang pun tak jadi la jawabnya.

Tengah lepak-lepak di rumah ni, seorang diri je sedangkan boleh saja aku meangkat tangan dan menyusulkan pada ayah, ‘Yana nak ikut pegi tarawih berjemaah ya?’ tapi, memikirkan yang ayah dan ibu sudah pun menyatakan hajat untuk menyinggah ke rumah……….. Apa lagi? Tak jadi la nak angkat tangan.

Peringatan yang sangat-sangat penting buat Yana:buang cepat-cepat! Jangan asyik lagho je kerjanya!! Habis lalai semua... =.=

Tapi sekurang-kurangnya, salah satu kerinduan aku terubat jugak kerana aku berjaya melawan perasaan malas tu dan dapat jugak akhirnya telefon kakakku sayang intan payung. Puas berbual hamper setengah jam! Haha. Nasib baik kad IDD tu pun dah nak tamat tempoh- tetapi masih banyak lagi bakinya dek perangai malas aku untuk telefon orang Malaysia- boleh la aku bual panjang tanpa ibu dan ayah eavesdropping! Heeeeeeeee~ aku cakap kat kakak aku sayang dia!! Walau apa pun yang dia buat, (dan mungkin jugak dia fikir dia tu tengah buat jahat =.=) aku tetap adik and sayang dia very much.. tengok, untung tau dapat adik camnie~ kui kui kui

Tiba-tiba jugak aku teringin makan kek coklat hasil tangan kakakku yang dahulu selalu la sangat dibakarnya pada musim raya macam ni. Heeeeeeeee~ raya dah nak dekat tapi biskut raya satu pun tak buat lagi!!!

Asam pedas yang dahulu rajin aku dan parents pergi lunch di Bandar Tangkak pun aku rindu jugak. Ibu cakap, ‘Tak apa Yana. Simpan la dulu hajat tu buat sementara waktu. Nanti tapau balik pun ibu sokong jugak,’ punya la~ ibu pun bagi lampu hijau untuk tapau nanti.. ish ish ish.. Tamak la pulak manusia satu ni.

Baru tersedar, memang banyak aku berceloteh hari ni. Maaf buat sesiapa yang membaca, semua ini hanya repekan dan carutan yang tak bermunasabah lagi tak bermanfaat untuk anda. Jadi, stop la membaca sekarang.. (Chet! Bila dah nak akhir kalam baru nak bagi amaran..)

Okeh, akhir kalam la kiranya ya ni. Thanks for reading and have a good day insyaAllah..
Salam

.....................

2009-09-11T03:42:00.003+08:00

Salam to all..

This post is informing you guys out there that I am still alive and living graciously amazing with the thrilled feeling inside of me because of exams season. Huhu.

Final decision made[noktah] I guess so? It’s been two weeks now since he made it and there seem to be no sign of him changing his mind..

If it is really going to be the final decision, then I’m gonna be okay with it. Yana redha cause I believe in Him. If He says black then I will say black.

I’ve got exams at the moment. Won’t be updating until this weekend or next week? (next weekend insyaAllah Eid!!!!!!!! Overly-intoxicated nyer excited~ heeee)

So far, 2 papers down (ENGLISH and MATHS). Today, I’ve got BIO paper pulok. Next week insyaAllah Physics and Chemistry. Ada masa.. ada masa.. ada masa.. (convincing and calming myself from freaking out)

Roger and out

Salam

bila la aku nak mula guna bahasa melayu yang tulen lagi suci dan bersih daripada pengaruh-pengaruh bahasa inggeris diiringi dengan tatabahasa-tatabahasa yang betul lagi menakjubkan? (rethorical question) Kalau macam ini la gayanya, memang dah sah-sah sangat la aku akan fail balik nanti.

Happy Independence Day Malaysia~

2009-08-31T17:55:00.007+08:00

Salam to all..

Happy Independence Day to Malaysia and malaysian~ WUMA celebrated merdeka day 2 weeks ago since it's ramadhan now and eveyone would be at the mosque or at home doing tarawih prayers.. including me, mom and dad. Alhamdulillah, so far so good. Completed 11 days of tarawih and fasting.. (except for the certain times kay..) Wish kakak would be here too. Miss her terribly and soooo much. Kakak, want me to come home? Should I? =)

Is it really fun blogging? yes for me.. bcos I have got nothing better to do than mengarut and merepek and babbling myself out here.. Although most of the things that I wrote are crap, but they're pretty much the expression of myself when I'm bored, tired, exhausted (which is the same thing), depressed (since i can only call kakak once in a while. she's my other half!) etc..

Today, I realised myself that Liyana Ghaffar is a very complicated person. At least that is what i think of myself. It's because I tend to think about things in a very very complicated way. I'm a coward, naive and sometimes can be pretty inassertive. Liyana Ghaffar is silly, lousy, over-perfectionist and what else?

I feel like I should be responsible on everything. My problem (obviously =.=), my family's problem and even my friends' problems. I want to be the person who's always there for other ppl. While I want ppl to share things with me, I prefer to keep them to myself and then burst everything out to the person that I can really really express myself => KAKAK. only one word, which is kakak. only one person which is kakak. That is why I miss her sooo terribly T^T

Truly, this months has been a really tough month for me. I hate the fact that I'm a burden to Mom and Dad. Dad just got here and mainly because of me. I hate it! I try to be strong but I don't know.. It hurts like...soo much! (I can't say H*ll because I dont know.. havent been there and Nauzubillah min zalik..) I want to show mom and dad that Liyana Ghaffar redha with anything she gets. It's all fate.. and.. i dont know..

" No disaster strike without the permission of Allah. And whoever believes in Allah - He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things." Surah at-Taghabun, Verse 11."

I found this on the translated Quran. I try to hold on to it. insyaAllah.. Ya Allah, please make me strong. I believe and rely on you only. Ameen..

Daddy is here!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-27T18:41:00.004+08:00

Salam to all~

Daddy is here! I'm happy~ Mom is happier~ (berseri-seri muka dia masa pick up aku dari sekolah tadi.. ^_^)

Liyana is freaking out! Chemistry test is to-mo-rrow!!!!!! gaaaaaaah~ rasa nak lari =.= (tapi ke mana? ting tong punye minah...)

Liyana is exhausted.. Had double period of Math today.. very very very very very tiring.. Got home, cooked dinner and sorted everything out (since dad brought us soooo many ole-ole from home.. kui kui kui..

Even tho i have a test tomorrow, I'm here and chatting with Aini my ol'fren from SKTU at FB.. FB mmg berhantu la~ (not exactly rite? everyone's human je...)

Liyana dunnoe what to say anymore.. need to get to sleep so that i wont 'terlajak' sleeping. MUST wake up at 4am tmr!!!!

i saw this vid from a blog that i follow.. pretty interesting.. my comment?

Liyana has got no offensive comment but of course, everything has the pros and cons rite? This vid clearly has the good messages but maybe the way is a bit inappropriate.. ^_^

that's all from Liyana tonite!

Salam and sweet dreams dearies~

26 August 09

2009-08-26T17:35:00.005+08:00

Salam to all...

hihi.. Self-baked Birthday cake without a plat or any writings saying that it is my birthday cake. Wells, you can say that I baked this long ago but the truth is, I just baked it yesterday nite, with 'Ibu pun nak makan kek jugak. bukan kau sorang je walaupun ni tuk birthday kau' in mind, of course i'd think about my mom too! eheh! So, Blueberry Chocolate cake with cream~ (mom said it's nice although it's my first attempt ever in baking a cake complete with the cream dressing and stuff! heee~~~)

12.01am : Jiali sent a text 'Happy birthday dear Liyana =)' *I was already asleep. eheh!*
4.32am: Mom wished me during sahur.. ' semalam bukan beriye duk tersedu2. Iye la.. Happy Birthday' *shocked and honestly, dont know how to react n just said thanx ibu!*
5.38am: Su sent me a birthday song wish~ 'Happy bday 2 u. U r born in the zoo. minum susu lembu, n u smell lyk 1 too~' *almost cried cos Liyana Ghaffar is touched!*
8.05am: Gita wished happy b-day~ *while walking through Hepburn's level 1 corridor.. on my way to my locker n was dumbfounded for a few secs. eheh!*
8.25am: Tianshu walked into the library and wished me sweet 16! I hugged her and again, touched~ *still didnt know how to react =.=*
8.40am: Miriam and Sherry walked into the library together and wished me Happy Birthday! hugged both of them and greeted 'Good Morning'. (eheh! my routine everyday. say gud morning and give my brightest smile to light up their day~)
8.45am: Stacey gave me a back hugged and wished me sweet 16~ said thank you and gave my cheeky smile.. (so much of my cheeky smile =.=)
9.40am: Walked into Malins 2.5 and Rika wished me Tanjoubi Omedettou!! Miss Sweet headed up 'Happy Birthday Liyana -16' on the whiteboard.. Diana wished and gave me teddy hug too.. =)
10.28am: Walked into the Large Gym for the senior assembly. Ala'a and Jiali wished me Happy Birthday.. (again!) =) Sisi Chen presented me with the cute bubby she made herself the day before! She kept saying that it looks so ugly (yeah rite! the over-perfectionist-fashion-designer-to-be was talking!) The truth is, I'm already so thankful for I have! and have got! (also, there is the greedy side of Liyana kay. I'm not the super perfect malay girl in HGHS)
11.15am: Elly came and handed a present. 'Happy Birthday Liyana.. sweet 16..' (I tried to ignore her but I couldn't cos I love her so much! >.<) Ria and Tiruna (I feel so bad cos I'm not even sure if i spelled her name rite T^T) wished me in front of my whole Chemistry class =.= (typical them) and Miss PT (i also can't spell her name T^T) wished me Happy Birthday too!
12.55pm: Was walking with Miriam to the library to wait for Ala'a (since we've promised to meet up in front of the library before going to the student council meeting). Miss Row came up to me and wished Happy Birthday ^_^ (surprised that she even knew! KAMAR again..)
2.02pm: Miss Eugster was doing the roll and wished me Happy Birthday bcos of the kamar =.= Becky, Ashley, Shawny, Sukhveer and Susan wished Happy Birthday! hihi.. clearly they were shocked to hear that I've only just turned 16! eheh! (bahana skip 1 year level kat sini.. =.=)
2.40pm: Realised that I had forgotten my umbrella at the Science block! Ran all the way back there to find the lab room was locked! T^T Alhamdulillah, Miss KS (she was my science teacher last year but i forgot her name! my mind is actually blank today =.=) wished me Happy Birthday as she helped me unlock the classroom~ ^_^ (KAMAR again =.=')
3.00pm: hehe.. Sreyna only remembered that she hasn't wished me yet. so, she wished me Happy Birthday in Maori Weaving (yeah! Liyana Ghaffar is learning how to weave for PBP!!)
3.25pm: I felt like crying on that very spot when Miriam told me that! Luckily, I endured it and saved myself from embarassing her and me at the same time.
4.10pm: Settled down and read Jiali's card. Couldn't be bothered to stop the tears from falling down. I thank her for making me a better person too. (Love you Jiali!) Elly gave me a pair of marvellous earrings!! I thank her too ^_^
4.30pm: Dila comey sent me a text wishing me Happy Birthday too! (thank you la kakak! love you and miss you!) At last! Ayah sent me a text before going on the plane to Bangkok (ehe! that was only after i reminded him that it's my 16th bday and I was pretty much demanding the wish from him. heeee~ notty notty Liyana..) He's arriving tmr! yeay!!!!!!! boleh ajak 'nge teh' (dunno how to spell it correctly) lepas ni... wakaka

To: Ibu and Ayah.. Terima kasih Yana ucapkan atas segala pengorbanan dan jasa2 mu. Halalkan makan minumku, ilmu yang telah ibu dan ayah curahkan buatku, pakaian dan pelajaranku. Terima kasih yang tak terhingga buat ibu dan ayah. Maafkan Yana kalau ada buat salah silap, anggaplah semua tu antara fitrah Yana growing up. I'm still learning and learning and learning. Yana faham kalau ibu dan ayah marah tu, tandanya sayang. 16 tahun sudah ibu dan ayah jaga Yana, didik Yana, memang tak mampu Yana balas. Yana ni memang tak pandai bermadah kata. Harap ibu dan ayah faham..

Hihi... done the listing and the wish.. Happy Birthday to me! Moga2 Allah akan memberkatiku kehidupanku, ahli kerluargaku, rakan2ku dan sekalian umah islam yg masih hidup ataupun yg sudah tiada.. Kalau orang doakan panjang umur, aku mintak la umur yg panjang itu akan dipenuhi dgn amaln2 yg baik. Amin.. Kalau orang wish live a happy life, terima kasih la byk2. insyaAllah, kalau Allah izinkan jugak. Kalau orang wish 'Dont worry, be happy' pun insyaAllah, kalau Dia izinkan. Moga Birthday kali ini, akan kekal dalam ingatan Ameen.....

Oh yes! buat kawan2, aunties and uncles, kakak2 n abang di FB yg wished me Happy Birthday, terima kasih tak terhingga buat kalian juga~ ^_^

Salam from me,
CHO aka Liyana Ghaffar

surprise surprise!!

2009-08-25T12:03:00.004+08:00

Salam to all..

I had a really good day today. Sherry baked a cake for my birthday (which is tmr =.=) and the other girls came over to surprise me with the birthday cake! hehehe.. I wonder if Sherry was telling the truth this morning.. *suspicious* I'm super happy because of the surprise although everything went blank for a few moments. hehe ^__^. I actually didn't know how to react in front of them. Wish the bubbly me will come back eventually =(

Something smells fishy with Elly. Somehow it feels like he's bringing the bad things in her. Well, is it not supposed to be my problem though? cause I still consider her as one of my dear friends that i really appreciate. Maybe I should wait a little longer.. (thank you bloggie for being my good listener!)

When I want to be closer to them, they go far away from me. How am I suppose to achieve my wish? Well, being a good friend, listener etc is what my wish is. Even kakak went far away already. She still hasn't called me!! grrrr... It's school holiday and she still hasn't called me which is pretty upsetting. Should I force her since she's my sister or should I wait some more? Why is it so hard to be surrounded by ppl who are older than me? I get treated like I'm soo young whilst I want to be the person who makes them comfortable and cosy around me. My problem? I guess so.

Daddy told me not to worry about it. I still am feeling so guilty. Feel like flying home now and just quit studying here. I didn't tell kakak yet since she looks so busy with her own thing. Starting to feel sad now. I think this August might be the worst month for me~ T^T so much of my 16th birthday.. Aish =.=

I'll try to survive anyways! Ramadhan is a good month and a blessing month! Can't afford to waste it on such unimportant thing (me complaining..) Better get moving and start studying too! Catching up with Bio, Che, Phy, Math, and Eng..

Oh yess! M said something about 'fasting is pretty bad when you're travelling'.. It makes me feel sad too cause I couldn't answer her with a proper answer. So much of a 'Good Girl'.

nothing good that have been produced as a muslimah
a burden to parents
being an irresponsible younger sis
a busybody towards my friends

What else that i have left out?

Blog's reconstruction and my day..

2009-08-24T15:57:00.002+08:00

Salam for my friends and family..

As you can see already! I've reconstructed my blog. thanks to the simple instructions at thecutestblogontheblock.com and some of my own time.. Had to spend some time to reconstruct it due to the impatience and dullness of the blog template i had just before this. I thought it would be okay since I didnt really mind about the colour and image of my blog. Maybe it does matter now. Haha! got it all on my face again~

My day.. Alhamdulillah, super okay! 3rd Ramadhan and I'm still moving! It's the first day of school since Ramadhan and i think we'll be fine. There some other muslim girls that might be fasting today at school including my darling Alaa.. Guess what! Elly fasted today~ She actually did what she said and promised herself. I tried to prevent her from promising but I hope she can resist as far as she can. I let her loosen up a bit by telling her to eat breakfast in the morning instead of waking up in the middle of the night at 4am to eat and fast while she is not even a muslim. Sherry accomplished her mission to fast on the 1st day of Ramdhan which was last Saturday, but she couldn't continue due to her grandma's visit on Sunday. Since she doesn't want to disappoint her grandma, she had to eat all those meals and dishes that her grandma cooked especially for her. So much of a precious granddaughter. Haha ^_^

My Chemistry test is on this Friday. Hopefully I will get it over with and pass the formative paper in flying colours~ E is my goal! Although it is not worth credit and just a formative paper, it measures the capability of me answering the paper as if I'm answering the trial exam I'm sitting another 2 weeks. Help!!!! 2 weeks is not long before it comes right before us! I'm going to freak out soon. LOL. I'd have to remind myself to stay calm again and again and 3 Kuls should be recited all the time. insyaAllah, everything will be fine ^_^

Dad will be arriving soon this Thursday and I can't wait to see, hug and kiss his cheeks!! I've missed him soo much for the past couple of months and I need to see him badly T.T He called this afternoon and he told me he's still packing all the goods that mom had asked him to bring along. (biasa la. barang kat NZ ni boleh tahan mahalnya T.T) Apparently, kakak still haven't called and explained what happened and I'll just have to wait till she's really ready? Or should I just call her back AGAIN? It's not bad to approach first rite? Although we didn't actually had a fight? hmm... I'll think about it, then I'll write kay?

Anyways, I've already blabbed all about my day today and I hope to see you again soon! I feel pretty excited seeing this blog reconstructed~ (bersinar gitu.. hihi!)

Salam for everyone and Selamat berbuka in advance to all my family and friends in Malaysia.. =-*

NurKasih n report of the day!

2009-08-22T17:10:00.003+08:00

Salam for everyone..

I don't know if this drama is really really well known in Malaysia or not but i heard it is. I'd love to share with you that i'm also hooked to this drama along with ibu... Aku dah jangkitkan virus2 NurKasih yg disalurkan oleh k.Diana itu hari.. eheh! Bagus la jugak drama ni. typical Malay drama but the director and camera angle mmg MAGNIFICENT! is that even correctly spelled? pardon my poor vocabulary (tu la! ayah suruh hafal 5 words everyday tu liat nak buat! =.=) If you havent watched it yet, Cho or Yana would like to recommend it to you. Although the message is majorly about the beauty of Islam, the drama is pretty good in sending messages about the 'budaya budak2 zaman sekarang'. like the place i'm currently living in, rate Driving Drunk mmg tinggi! Nauzubillah.. hopefully Ibu and me will be protected from anything bad happening insyaAllah..

Today, what can i write about? a fully length report about my day? Nah... tak bagus n tak penting pun. Asalkan beringat yg it's Ramadhan and I'm supposed to increase the amount of amalan mulia.. (it's not supposed to be only in ramadhan anyways.. such a loser.) hehe.. I'm not sure if families, friends and strangers (=.=) in Malaysia has already get to eat for iftar or not. But surely, I have. 4 hours earlier than malaysia and we get to eat for iftar at 6pm. ehe! lucky? not so lucky cause Fajr starts at 5.20am. Terpaksa la tidur awal sikit dalam kes ini.. hu2.

Apa2 pun, there is a possibility for me to update myself tomorrow. Cho dah terfikir nak masak apa untuk esok? Aish.... bukan nye fikir pasal amalan! tapi fikir pasal makan?! gi. la. Anyways, ciao to my friends and family!

p/s: Cho is listening to Dan Sebenarnya by Yuna. (she's actually good! =)

Salam Ramadhan~

2009-08-21T17:36:00.002+08:00

salam everyone!!!

heeeee.. harini entry melayu yer? lama dah rasa tidak menulis dalam bahasa melayu sepenuhnya. walaupun saya rasa tidak akan menjadi kenyataan disebabkan tatabahasa-tatabahasa saya yang lemah lagi kasihan. atau adakah saya punyai pembaca entry yang tidak memahami malah fasih berbahasa melayu? Setahu saya, S pun saya tidak beri alamat blog ini. hmm..

Apa-apa pun, Liyana inging ucapkan Salam Ramadhan buat semua muslim dan muslimah di luar sana dan inshaAllah, kita akan sama-sama lalui ramadhan bulan rahmat dengan penuh amalan..

Terbaca di entry seorang hamba Allah, katanya, 'Tok Guru juga kata, buat baik dapat duit, maka kita kena double-kan amalan.' Mungkin betullah kata Tok Guru itu, saya pun amalan masih 0. Kalau digandakan pun masih 0. Jadi, mesti pastikan jumlah amalan berganda inshaAllah..

..................................................................................................................................

heeeee~ tamat dah benda2 yg skema lagi sentimental cho nak cakap, sekarang time utk babble2~~~~~ for the past few weeks, depressed skit kot.. tu la, ada blog tapi taknak make use of it. mungking i'm scared to show my real self in this place? ternampak my motto on the office's wall the other day.. 'Be yourself, everyone else is taken'. somehow rasa macam kena tampar kat pipi suruh ambil and make sure my life motto is still valid. funny? not so much.

Trip ke mt Ruapehu last week was good and Alhamdulillah, berjalan dgn lancar. takde masalah.. selamat balik dah pun. S and E pun dah ok sikit. A pulak yang macam ada problem the other day but since dia ckp dgn S dah, ok sikit la kot sekarang. Leaders Training hari ni pun berjalan lancar. basically, tak ada byk beza la dgn apa yg senior2 dulu buat dlm orientasi utk biro2 baru atau pemimpin2 baru masa still kat malaysia dulu. Rindu pulak bila mention pasal malaysia.. Syu, Qila, Qiah, Ja, Fid n others.. my bestie Atin.. lama dah x call. walaupun Syu dah call haritu on her birthday. Next up to call, Qila pulak. 29th of August is coming and it's gonna be her 16th bday! hehehe.. I'm excited plak.. while my own bday pun coming up.. heeeee ^___^

apa2 pun, cho/Yana say ciao dulu yer~ Selamat berpose one more time!!!!

p/s: guess what? E and S says they want to fast with me too! hehehe... that literally means they want to skip lunch cos they said they need to lose the 4 kilos that they've gained since they came here last year! =.= why do i have be have weird friends? weird or not weird, I admit that I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!

Standing by DBSK's side..

2009-08-01T19:24:00.002+08:00

As one of the cassies...
Cho will always stay by their side...
They won't be disbanded... They will stick up together....
I'm trying to not being too devastated by the news...
Hwaiting Oppa!!!!!!!!!!!

tOps and dResses..

2009-08-01T16:26:00.003+08:00

kyaaa~~~~~

I was just checking out some clothes online at mozmol.com and found some tops that I love!!! hmm... wonder if i can find any here... apparently, i think Hamilton is a little bit smaller than the city i've ever lived in my whole life! hehehe... well, at least i have the courage to walk around the city by myself unlike KL... creepy la kalau jalan sorang2! anyways, back to the tops~ wish i can wear something like that in the future~ I'm into korean street style... E wears alot of them! (obviously since she is one.. =_=)

here we go!!!

oh yes! this one is not from mozmol.. it's from Lulus.com ~ like it!!

these are from mozmol....

I like this one cause of it's maturity look? I think so.. I'm not really a fashion critic but i love to look around! hehehe...

i love those two!! don't you think they're cute? I HEART them!!! hehehehe.. I think this is the 1st post of mine that has got pics of clothes! well, i like to look at them but havent got the chance to wear them YET... T^T

oh wells~ just wanted to share these.. bubye for now!!!

-CHO-

It's August!!!!

2009-08-01T14:33:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!!

It's August already! Can you believe it? Apparently, I can't either!
It is really true that time passes by so fast that we didn't even know it. So, never say time is so slow kay. Cos I don't agree! haha.. ^o^

I'm in a good mood today~ Why? Just downloaded DBSK's Mirotic 3rd Asia Concert! Well, in my condition and ability rite now, i can only download them instead of buying them straight from YesAsia.. T^T too expensive lor..... and i'm not even working like other teenagers over here do.. T^T

Today is Saturday and I did nothing~ haha! gotta study sooner or later, so decided to drop by here for a while.. crapping my butt out! wakakaka!! Miss my friends at home.. miss my sis.. miss my su... miss everyone! sometimes, i felt kind of lonely though. However, i think i'm more myself for the past few weeks! I talked more nowadays when i'm with E and M. well, considering i don't see S that much nowadays, which is soo sad! (I miss her too~). I did say alot of things when i had a bubble tea with her yesterday. She looked a bit different tho.. hmm.. should i dig more or just let it go? I think I should things go with the flow~ (mushy and cheesy!)

okay, what else should i talk about? hmm... I have to cook sambal telur tmr! haha! That one pun kena inform ke? well, it's considered sharing some stories rite? That sambal telur, i have to cook it and i'd have to record everything i do for my presentation. Apparently, I decided to make 'Sambal Telur' as the presentation for my IMT assessment (which is worth 3 credits!) Hope it will go well~ (abrakadabra!)

Guess what guys! I have long hair but i dont even know how to bun my hair! and guess what I did to learn it~ went and learn it on YT.. wahahaha! somehow i find hilarious cause i could have asked E to teach me how to bun my hair. considering that she always bun her hair before going to school everyday~ hehehehehe... Silly chokie~

hmm... don't know what else should i write now.. gonna stop now then. I'll write again if i find something interesting kay? bubye for now! mmuaaaahx from cho and lovvies~~~~

cho's currently listening to 낙원 (Paradise) by TVXQ - the live one!

Post of the Month!

2009-07-30T15:57:00.004+08:00

yorobun!!!!!!!!! Hallo from cho~~~~~~~

After hibernating from blogging for a more than a month! Cho is here to talk about my month! hehehehehe... is it seriously gonna be my habit? dropping by once a month ONLY?! *sigh* sure lame.

ONE and a Half month, since i came over to blab things out.. and now, im trying to remember what i did for the whole month! maybe i shud change my habit.. visit at least once a week or once in two weeks! at least, i dont have to struggle too hard trying to remember what i did.. aish.

OH yeah! I had my long and relaxing holidays two weeks ago n i spent most of my time downloading dramas (apparently, instead of onlining). hehehe.. so, not wanting to disturb the line speed, i ended up not checking my mails AND my bloggie! huhu T^T

Oh wells~ Went to a 'concert' with Elly! unfortunately, Sherry couldn't come, which was pretty sad n disappointing since i asked her first, because of certain reasons that are too complicated to talk about here. and hey! It's not the concert where ppl jump around with the loud music that may blow my ears out even tho its covered with a scarf =_=' Its an ORCHESTRA! the 1st orchestra concert I've ever watched and been to! sooo much fun and touching~ I'm in love with classics and ballads nowadays... heheheheh ^_^

Dramas that cho downloaded? Shining Inheritance! or in other name, Brilliant Legacy which stars Han Hyo Joo (the girl who broke alot of Jaejoong's lovers by kissing him in Heaven Postman), Lee Seunggi (which I'm currently in love with! 'I Want to Marry You' is sooooo sweet~) and some other actors including Moon Chae Won and Bae Soobin.

okay... I dont have the BIG mood to write now since i've just written my whole basic story up there... whats wrong with this lappie!!!! grrrrrrr......

got to go already~ to my bawang fams: Cho says soooooo sorry for not visitting often bcos of my 'hiatus all the time' status... could only download some new songs n then start studying again.. cho will try to drop by as often as i can kay? Miss you n love you lots!!!!!!!!! -CHOKIE-

Randomness

2009-06-13T11:17:00.002+08:00

Hi Loves Doveys!!!!
Missed you soo much for the past few weeks~ i mean 2 weeks! i havent blog anything abt me for the past 2 weeks rite? sorry ya~ Oh yes!!!! Thursday, kena act semula play Shakespeare yg terhormat, 'MacBeth'!!! Pulun je cho jdik MacBeth; a very2 bad guy... i thot i was going to get an Excellence for that! but u know what? x dpt jugak~~~~ T.T oh wells~ at least i know i did my best! and Mr Farrell said the teachers are going to rewatch the recording of our perfs and decide again whether i deserve the E or not.. nak E.. nak E.. nak E... It's worth 3 credits tau!!!! Saaaaayaaaaang if i fail.. and then daddy might scold me again for not getting the Excellence... T.T This Monday ada Biology Unit Standard! dup dap dup dap dup dap!!! takot.... hopefully everything will be fine and i can cope with all of the cell things.. insyaAllah, i have faith in myself~ ^_^

Today is Saturday! Sherry and Elly came over to my house to bake sumthing~ Sherry ; as always, love to bake but she always says that i'm more expert than her =_=" Elly: she looked sooo cute while baking the pudding and brownies! hahax! Only He knows how much I love them both... i know it's only been a year since we knew each other.. but i think i'm starting to open up myself to know and consider everything abt them.. susah la kalau xjdi myself.. not Original rite? Sumtimes i'd feel lost and a loner for not sharing everything wif them.. kenapa boleh ada masa kitorang x bercakap, bercerita or say rubbish things all the time? i want to live the way that i lived my life once! everyone's the same, share things and keep our secrets.. i want to be that person that's a good listener to my friends.. bagitau ibu tadi that i may not be the same person i was than now.. tapi ibu just dont understand.. aish~ bloggie je la tmpt ku luahkan rasa kan? i dont even know whether ANYONE would want to read this rubbish things that i'm spilling.. hmm.... *loner*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! mommy said my face looks soo round already!! this can't be happening!! i dont want to gain weight during winter like i did last year!! No! No! No! No! yup.. this is me.. cho.. one of the girl yg kata diri sendiri 'gemuk'! 'tembam'! what else is there? it hurts tau kalau org ckp aku gemuk.. my confidence abt my body is not as good as everyone else.. nak wat camana? even my own mother and father pun dok bilang 'yana gemuk la..' 'stop makan la..' Then bila aku makan kurang nasik but byk lauk pulak kena marah 'makan la nasik tu! apsal ambik byk sgt lauk? nanti lagi gemuk!' the thing is.... bukan ke betul? aku mmg mkn benda yg berkhasiat pe.. bukannye aku pegi melantak chips la~ cake la~ hapa la~ dark chocolate yg aku suke sgt2 tu pun aku x sentuh for what? more than 2 months already!!!!!! so stop abusing my mind la!!!!!!!

Foooooh~~ calm down cho.. jgn jdi nervouse breakdown kay.. Dia ada.. Dia ada... thank Allah sis is wif me.. thanx kak.. thanx sgt2.. at least yana pegang kata2 akak dulu.. 'pedulikan ape org kata.. it's your body, learn to love your body.. org lain pun berisi gak~' the thing is, i dont mind kalau org ckp aku 'berisi'. but i hate the word 'gemuk'... it just hurts people... okay.. rasa nak undur diri dah ni.. bubye love!!!!!

cho's currently: downloading World's Within and will finish tmr! and then starting to download Cinderella Man..

P/S: it's not like cho doesnt study kay.. cho download and then tinggal lama x tgk tau.. biar je lappie ni terbukak cos downloading.. tapi cho belajar tau~ heheheh!! mmuuuaaaaaaahkiss~

Someday (썸데이) - korean singer

2009-05-31T14:06:00.006+08:00

this is a new group! Of course, if you listened to Boys Over Flower's Ost, then you'd know them! I love their 1st album and hope u will too if u try out... I watched a vid of them on YT singing live and I'm in love with their voices (ehem2.. sorry DBSK oppadeul~) hehehe..

oh wells~ if you need more info on them, I found some HERE. So, enjoy!!!!

cho's currently listening to: 'Again n Again' by 2PM.. hehe :D

니아 (Nia) ★ My Everything

2009-05-31T13:48:00.003+08:00

I lovethe song and the single! I think I've actually heard of them before but never downloaded their songs and listen to them. But u know what? semalam tergerak nak download and the outcome is great! the single is called 'My Everything' and I'm not really sure this is the 1st single or what.. hehehe ^_^ if you're fond of F.T. Island, u may enjoy the band too. It's and independent group of korea I guess.. ^_^ If u think they are totally different from FT Island, sorry then.. cos i dont know much abt FT Island.. ^__^anyways, i hope u'll enjoy them too! ^______^

cho's currently listening to : 'Break Out' by Nia (니아)

Stalking moment....

2009-05-29T10:51:00.004+08:00

wuahahah!! i'm here again! to talk abt the things that i've left out for this whole time when cho went M.I.A.. heheheh ^_^

1. SHINee - Juliette MV

hahahaha! i actually don't know what can i say abt this.. they changed their hairstyles and so on.. but nothing much that i can see.. oh yes! Taemin got taller and sang more lines in this song! that's what i notice.. and also the boys look so much taller and thinner than before.. did they work too hard? anyways, all the best to SHINee!!!!!! 화이팅!!!

2. 너라고 (It`s You) MV - Super Junior

weeeeeeee!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! they are soooooo hot! hehehehe... its been so long since i've talk abt suju.. loving the boys more now~~ i'm sooo gonna start stalking them again! knowing how dorky and silly they are, they are totally gonna make my day~~ urineun super junior ni ooooooeeooh!

3. [PV] TVXQ -Share The World

and of course! my all time addiction!!!! i know its totally not new~ its just that i've watched the MV last time and i didn't get to blab out abt it.. hehehe~ i miss them soo much! im irrevocably in love with them!!!! i watched some of the tv shows that they attended long time ago while i was feeling a bit down. and u know what happen~ they made my day brighter!!! keep on making us all cassiopeian feeling brighter and happier oppadeul! 열심해!!

that's all for now then.... i'll come by later if i have anything else to share abt.. gonna go and continue stalking ppl! >.<

Weeeeeee~~ latest story.....

2009-05-29T09:22:00.002+08:00

hi guys!! you have no idea how much i miss u.......

hehehe.. sorry for not visitting for so long.. i think it has been 2 weeks isn't it? sorry ya~ my reasons are:
~ downloading BOF and i didn't want to kacau the internet speed by coming here.. (and i'm finished! 2 weeks tau download those 25 eps! ^____^)
~ unfortunately, i'm having my exams right now and thats why i didnt come over.. at least, by downloading, cho x kacau lappie kan???

i did my BIO paper yesterday morning and i was so nervous that i ended up shivering! buat practical pun jdi tunggang langgang.. aish =_='
thank goodness i recovered and did the test without further problems~ ^_^
this morning pulak, MATH paper! statistics.... hopefully my teacher will accept me talking rubbish on the paper.. foooooh! abrakadabra! Mrs Cross, please give me an excellence for that..........

hehe, i settled my chores right after i got home from school. got home at 11am and turned on my lappie.. terus bukak iTunes. hehe! nak lepas tension after the awful 1.5 hours.. then i started baking scones (ibu mesti suka!) n i started to cook... later on, vacuumed the whole house, and i swept the toilet (siap cangkung2 lagi! org melayu betul~ ^^)

now i'm here! writing this post! sorry ya if my posts are being very boring for the past few months.. i probably don't know what to write, what to say and what to spill.. sometimes, i feel soo empty and lonely, susah nak expresskan what's in here (pointing to the chest).. anyways, chokie need to study hard and achieve my dreams!!! i wont disappoint my family!
okies, got to go first.. later on we'll see i wether i will come and blog more on whats on my mind.. right now, wanna go and stream YT for new vids! feeling like stalking SUJU and ss501~ hehehe ^^

cho chip misses onion fams.................... T_T

Selamat Hari Guru and Happy Birthday to Su!!!!!!

2009-05-16T17:47:00.003+08:00

Selamat Hari Guru to all teachers and soon-to-be teachers out there~
including my beloved sis, D-la and Su!!! And of course Kak Elun yg dah blk msia n tgh brseronok sakan blk for good! hehehehe...
Happy Birthday to Su jugak! I think it's a BIG coincidence for u to be born on the same day as Hari Guru and u're also a teacher! hope u'll get lovely presents from ur murid2 yg comel tu~~~~~ (sorry la. cos u're hopeless niece can't even buy u a proper present yet. wait until i get back and i'll get u a huge present okay! love you!!!)

ok, enough with the things that i wanted to wish today. Let's get back with me catching up! I was pretty down before i came back a couple of days before. And i think it's a big possibility and i'm really back! yeay~ suke suke suke...... ^___^ i've been reading alot lately. finished almost 30 books in a month! I just couldn't believe it! Guess what? i really couldn't believe that i can read books that much and that fast! usually, i'd take abt at least a week to finish up one book and now, i'm starting to think that the city library's librarian recognize me. Pelik2....

i've also done alot of cooking but not baking. i miss baking soooo much. might end up baking a cake for my teacher's birthday next monday. hehe ^_^. I'm currently downloading Boys Over Flower! sooo exciteed to watch the drama! after i finished downloading the drama, i'm soooo gonna show off to Su and Elly for having the whole series! hehehe... or i might even share them with Sherry...

ok, what else can i ramble about? oh yes! we played bola beracun today~ but i didn't get to play that much cause i came in later than other 'kakak's and abang. T.T at least i get to play one game! ^o^ last Thursday, we had a cross country. i ran for the whole 4.5km! Claps for me!!! However, my leg muscles was sooo sore the next day!(haha! score for me. muscle shock!) i had to moan a bit everytime i walk down the stairs... (and every single of my class are on the 2nd floor. just imagine what i had to go through!!!! T.T) Thank you God, now my muscles are better :-)

i was on the phone with my sis just now! missed her terribly and i'm still missing her~~~~ and i miss dad too! xpernah lagi bercakap dgn ayah on YM since he came over to visit a month ago.. T.T

that's all for now guys! got to go to bed and resuming the download!
mmuaaaaackiss for u and love from cho ^_^

Go To Bed..

2009-05-13T19:14:00.002+08:00

Sadly guys.. thats all i can do for now.. Changed the boring skin, said hi to some of my fams, and now i've got to go to bed.. i think i get to think craply today was because i finished my test on geometry this morning.. glad that i did it! furious and anxious for the result! although it's a formative test, it is still counted as a practice test right? no one said that we can 'buat cincai je la.. kacang goreng je nih..' NOPE! got to earn the good grades myself!

goody goody night everyone~
sleep tight and hopefully, new good things will come tomorrow and shine our life brighter and brighter! ^__^

mmuaaaaahx!
CHO

Hiya!!

2009-05-13T18:03:00.002+08:00

Hiya guys!!!

I can't believe i'm actually here! the last time i was here it was what? 2 months ago? i really wanted to come back! but just i had no idea what happened to me. i guess something strucked me and made me felt so lazy and so irresposible by not visitting this place since ages! i missed youuuuuuuuu~~

i was hoping that i can crap myself out here and just let me be myself! i really hope i can and i guess i'm looking forward to it! me, myself is feeling a bit rough lately cause internal assessment is coming so soon! i've only got another 2 weeks left before the exam! some ppl might think of it as not a big thing but it goes into my reports! i don't want to be judged as a bad student who can't even score myself some good marks and good understanding after all those long classes and studies. i should let myself earn what i should earn! go chokie chokie!

how i miss that name.. Cho.. Chokie.. Cho Chip.. what else? Choco fondue? hahax! i'm totally feeling like i'm crapping about all the nonsense things now.. Fuh~ lega.......

ok la, got to go first. Let see whether i'd end up writing another post tonight. psssst! i was planning on online just for a while tonight b4 i watch 'Chuck' but i end up coming here. a miracle or what?! Love you guys lots!!!!

xoxo,
Cho

Finally back!!

2009-02-17T17:42:00.002+08:00

assaluamualaikum to u muslims n hey to you guys! finally, i'm back! safe n sound right in front of my dearest lappie, on cameron road.. after 2 months of 'hibernating' in malaysia, still manage to live la kan? eheh!

well..... i'm still very very very tired of the long journey.. 10 hours of flight n 2 hours of drive to get to Hamilton was very very very tiring.. thanks to aunty hanim n kak shira for fetching us! so, later la i keep on blogging ok? anyways, i think i want to change my layout.. i think this layout is not simple enough.. lame huh? okies!

toodles n doodles doo!
assalamualaikum...

MOODY........

2009-01-20T13:33:00.003+08:00

Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm currently in the worst mood ever! Sherry told me that the results are out (through email of course) and i went to check mine at the website. As i expected, i did VERY badly. but Thank Allah i have no NAs. I'd be totally frustrated if i do. Unfortunately, i didn't get any Es!!!! it is sooo not fair! i've studied really hard to get and Excellent for Social Studies and do only deserve a Merit? I guess He said that i'm not hardworking enough to get and Excellent for that subject. As expected too, my maths and science is OK i guess. but i cant let myself down next year! i believe i can work harder and get higer grade for that! but still, i cant help to think that i have to tell my dad about my poor result. i texted mommy about the results and she hasn't reply me anything. i'm seriously damn frustrated! i guess the efforts that i've put in are not good enough for myself to get the good grades.

Let myself alone.. without anyone to comfort me..

Saengil Chukahae to HARA!!!!!

2009-01-19T01:12:00.003+08:00

happy birthday to you~
happy birthday to you~
happy birthday to HARA~
happy birthday to you~

saengil chukahamnida~
saengil chukahamnida~
saranghaneun uri HARA~
saengil chukahamnida~

To: HARA....

cho chip is here to say sorry if i messed up the song n ruined your cheerful mood early in the morning and might also disturb your sleep tonight..(definitely because of my poor voice) so, i guess you shouldn't sleep tonight.. lolx! kidding! you're definitely TUA ady~ hehehe.. now, i'm really messing your mood! okies~ the real message is:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Thank you for taking me as ayour friend and family..
I know i'm very glad to be your birdie cho chip!
Hope you'll have a splendid birthday later!
May He bless you where ever you are, and what ever you dream of..
Cho chip will always support you!!
A very sumimasen for all the crappy things that might make you feel awkward towards me... T.T
Last but not least, HARA's Cho Chip loves you sooo muchie!!!

DBSK= all time addiction

2009-01-18T01:01:00.003+08:00

okies~
last but not least for tonight!!! i'm gonna say sorry to my fams first if i dont visit you next week cos i'm totally trapped out without internet connection that doesn't pisses me off! but no worries~ you can always contact me on my phone number ne~ you dont know? ask halmoni or hara.. hope they will tell you ne.. heheheeh ^___^

DBSK's addiction since September 25th 2008!!!!!!

-CHO-

hope that they will stay healthy as they are!!! saranghae oppadeul!!

credits to: as tagged + DNBN

CHANGMIN equals MY HUBBY

2009-01-17T23:51:00.007+08:00

credits to: Ourchangmin

He is my love.. my life.. every breath i take is for him.. not that he is the only reason for me breathing in and out right now.. he killed me with his smile, he made me laugh with his dorkiness and his love for food made me smile and think of him everytime i cook or i eat.. tell you what? i will always love him with my whole life! i miss you.. i want you to know how much i support you and i'll always be here for you.. saranghae oppa!!!!!!!!!!! >_<

Jaejoong's CHARISMA

2009-01-17T23:40:00.004+08:00

credits to: DNBN

His smile, his expression, his voice.. everything made me fall in love with them! (ehem.. ehem.. no worries halmoni n ai unnie.. my one and only is my hubby.. ehehehe!! ^__^)it is just that there is something in his voice and his own self that made me look at myself as a girl or future-to-be-woman if i do have his abilities or skills! like..... HE CAN COOK! i can't believe that he might actually be neater and tidier than me! so.. i took it as a challenge to myself. hope that you will always inspire me as a fan and everything i am..

Junsu's Power and Soul

2009-01-17T23:29:00.002+08:00

credits to: as tagged + DNBN

His expression also drifted me away.. for now, i only found these pics of him. plus, i'm kinda busy finding jae's pic and my hubby's pic.. so, i have to pass on his adorable pics ne~ will post it next time! mmuaaahx!
I looove his voice, his dorky self and everything about him! i can never get tired or bored of his personality. 'bahana DBSK' in malay.. hahahaha~

L.O.V.E for Yunho Oppa!

2009-01-17T23:20:00.003+08:00

He made me melt away from his manly figure~
Aaaaargh!!!!! help me~~~
i can see his honesty, hardworking and a big dream of him from his eyes..
i know i'm still a newbie of being a cassiopeia..
but you make my life complete~
Yunnie oppa! you are a great singer, leader and member of DBSK!!!!

credit to: as tagged + DNBN

Yoochun's L.O.V.E

2009-01-17T22:59:00.004+08:00

Hehehehe...
~~sorry~~ hara!
but tonight, i'm in LOVE with this man..
His expression while singing drift me away.. so full of emotion.. taking me along..
la... la... la... la...

and these are soooo adorable!!!! good job to the person who editted these~ hehehe..

credit: as tagged + DNBN

The Day where........

2009-01-17T22:54:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!!!!!
i miss this place sooo much and i am sooo sorry that i havent blog for soo many days..
well, the truth is im not using my own internet connection and i do need to take notice of myself using my uncle's internet connection as he pays for everything.. lolx!
i know that he doesn't even care if i don't sleep because im using his computer but it's my own personality.. i guess i'm not that comfortable using other people's things.. lolx! don't mind me crapping ok~

but today, i decided to use this computer the whole night!
blogging pictures and lots of them!
i miss DBSK sooooo much!
trust me, you have no idea!
let see.. i hope i can find their pictures!
hehehe ^_____^
i think i'll start with chunnie's pics first..
see ya~

WEEE!!!

2009-01-13T00:30:00.002+08:00

hey!!!
weee~ i just finishd constructing my blog..
lolx! but still in under construction..
not sure whether you as readers would like it or not..
but it definitely makes me feel better..
seeing my blog as in my home is not soo crowded with too many things on the same page!
hehehe ^___^
hope that it will make you feel much much more comfortable to read or do anything u want around the place.. hhihi ^___^
ok! so long for tonight!
i guess i
ll see you gus tomorrow!!!! ^____^

muaaaahx!
-CHO-